Archive | March, 2009

Close encounters of the political kind

29 Mar

So had my first encounter of the season with a politician (ex-minister). Met him at a party hosted by a friend.

Found out the party was meant to expose the aforementioned neta and his party to us friends (we did not know it when we were invited).

So while the guy is regaling us with political stories someone mentions in passing that I blog…”Sir he is a blaaager sir” .

The guy clams up for the rest of the evening…no more political escapades.. damn !!!!

Anyway he has told us that the party contesting this election based on issues like Yekanaamic Development, Auntie Terror, Haaanesty, and Naaan Corruption (I think he meant ensuring that Naan Rotis dont get spoilt)…

I am feeling sooooo safe with all the assurances… now please excuse me.. a bunch us us have decided to go beat up on our good friend…

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Ugadi Greetings

27 Mar

Heres wishing everyone Happy Ugadi.

flowers

Missing Bride

24 Mar

Our neighbour Murthy’s daughter Vasantha got married and moved from Jayanagar to Malleswaram. Even though the commute was 15 minutes those days, she might have as well moved to another country.

The day of her first visit back to her parents house caused considerable excitement in the neighborhood – we kids hoped to con the new husband into buying us some Dosa (our esteem of a person those days was based upon his ability and willingness to buy us stuff at the local restaurant – in some ways it still is)…this scam usually worked for a few months and then we had to find another bakra…

The family had prepared an elaborate welcome ceremony, complete with welcome “Arathi” etc etc..

“There he is” shouted one of the eagle eyed young ones from his perch on the compound wall..

There he was..we saw his scooter turning into the road and slowly make its way up towards us..but as he got closer we saw he was riding alone.. No Vassantha..

He approaches the waiting group with a shy smile…and suddenly realizes that we are all watching him..mouths open..wanting to say something but not able to…

“Vasantha Yellappa?” (wheres Vasantha?) someone finally manages to ask..

“Shes right here…” begins the husband looking at us strangely and then turning towards the pillion seat..but theres no Vasantha in the pillion..his look changes from “shy smile” to “sheepish.. what the **** happened??” in a second.

By the time we figure out..the young “eagle eyed” kid shouts again “Here she is !!!”. We all turn to see Vasantha lumbering up the street..

Turns out that they had stopped at the traffic signal nearby. When the light turned green, the scooter lunged forward causing Vasantha to slip out of the pillion seat (no she didnt fall). Mr. Husband, not realizing that his better half was not behind him zoomed off and made his victorious approach to his in-laws house …..solo.

Anyway alls well that ends well…Everyone had a good laugh… the new guy bought us extra stuff just to stop us from teasing him.

Vasantha didnt think it was funny though..me thinks it was their first spat.

Tirupati “Chowra”

21 Mar

There is a term “Tirupati Chowra” (the Tirupati Shave) thats used in Kannada. Here, a barber shaving someones head does half the job and moves on to his next client. This ensures that the first guy doesnt leave (with a half shaven head). Seems like this holds good with our civic authorities as well.

Just a couple of months ago a brand new road had been laid in front of my house. I was surprised at that time because it was only a couple of years ago that a new road had been laid (there are roads in Bangalore that have not been done up since the Brits left India).

Imagine my surprise when I came back one evening and found one side of the new road dug up by the Sewerage guys. Apparently they are replacing all the drainage pipes (which is good).

Another example of bass-ackward planning.

In the process of digging, they cut the telephone lines much to the annoyance of our local BSNL lineman who isn’t used to doing too much work.

Lineman: “Waat Saar..these muttalas (idiots) have cut the line”

Me: “I barely noticed. I never use the land line these days” (I hoped I had injured his corporate pride. But no)

Then ex-NRI neighbour, a man in his 60’s who has comeback to the country after sweating it out as a lawyer in the USA joins in.

NRI-Neigb: “I tell ya.. vaat ve need is bedder coordination betveen aaal the endities”

Lineman (not understanding): “Yenu saar?”

NN: “Neevu ella you should use technaaalagies to tell each other vaat you are doing. You see in New Yaark this will never happen”

Lineman:”Waat technology shecknology saar even the chief engineer of the sewerage board does not know about this”

NN (turning to me): “I tell ya.. we’ll never progress” (shrugs his shoulders and leaves)

Anyway, net effect I am marooned..will be using public transport for the next few days.

UPDATE: The “Tirupati” effect seems to be holding. The roads been dug up in front of all the houses…and left that way…

What was the new song the Government is using in its election campaign? Jai Ho?? Jai Ho indeed…

ditch

The Conversation

16 Mar

One of my best friends, I’ll call him R since I dont want to use his real name, Rajagopal.

Most of the times we have normal conversations. Sometimes though it proceeds like the one below..

His better half pcr-rules was in the USA and we were meeting for lunch…it also happens to be R’s birthday.

Me: So how goes it? Ready for lunch??

R: Had a heavy breakfast…So, Pr is coming back next week. How long does it take to travel from the new Airport?

Me: It takes an hour. So anything special you are doing on your B’day?

R: She is coming in on Luftansa..somehow her routing is through Washington DC…dont know why…

We order food…and R continues

R: Inge paare (in Tamil)…once she reaches she’ll take at least 1 hour to come outside illiya? Customs, Immigration and all that stuff

Me: Ya, Ya (food has arrived by now)

R: She also doesnt have much time in Nashville..its work work work..

Me: Hmmm…

R: Buses from the International Airport they stop near the house…but sometimes they dont…

Me: Okay cool…

R: Heres her schedule (proceeds to retrieve pcr’s schedule on mail)…

Me: More Garlic Bread?

R: No thanks. So I think it will be minimum 2 AM by the time she gets home…(all the time reading the schedule on the phone)

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R: So I dont think I’ll have any sleep on the day she returns… so hows things with you?

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…and then theres the ongoing battle he has with his fingernails..but thats another post…

Old Vs. New

9 Mar

Sometime ago I had blogged about the Old and the New . The tug of war between a street vendor and a new store.

Guess what? Walked by there yesterday..the new store is gone.. the lady is still there.

Related Post: Recession not bad for all

Non-Parties

7 Mar

Elections are close by, that means a lot of blog material. However the Supreme Court recently held bloggers accountable for things they write. That puts a considerable dampner on the proceedings. However theres nothing preventing me from writing about things in general. So here goes.

Some political parties are forming a “Third Front” to fight the coming elections. They claim to be forming a NON-Congress and a NON-BJP coalition. Here are a few other “NON’s” they can add:

Non-Principled, Non-Performing, Non-Sensical,Non-Ethical,Non-descript, Non-Starting… Non-Entities.

Heres an excuse used by politicians to promote their sons, daughters, in laws, drivers etc..

“The Party activists forced me to do it”

In the meantime there was a poll conducted to see if people wanted elections or the IPL (Indian Premier League)… guess who won?