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“Weasel”ing Out

3 Nov

The story line pays out again and again and again…

1. Politician Is caught with his hand in the cookie jar (or with his pants down)

2.He denies vehemently. His supporters break a few windows and burn a few buses

3. Suddenly he realizes that his game is up.

4. He then develops either chest pains or breathing problems and is taken to hospital.

By the time he gets out another of his buddies has diverted attention by doing something else…

Case in point Madhu Koda former Jharkand CM.

If only they could use half this creativity for other peoples good…

The “Barber”ian

4 Aug
the-lord-giveth

Copyright(c) Acknowledged

There’s this shop that I go for my haircuts (yes there’s still some left)..being going there for a long time. Owner is a nice gent called Murthy.

Its one of those places where you go get your hair cut, listen to some local gossip, seed some of your own gossip and incidentally get a hair cut. Its not a place where you go for hair styling..

Murthy is doing quite well..he has 10 shops in Bangalore..

Suddenly he opens up a posh air-conditioned “hair-styling” saloon next door.. and by “air-conditioning” I mean the real thing..not the windows being opened to let the cross breeze flow..

Well thats all well, except that the good Mr. Murthy has been egging us regular customers to go to the new place instead of the old one..the new one has AC but is much more expensive…

“Why sir you and all are coming here..come come please go to AC place sir..”…

But wait !!!!..its the same guy who was snip snipping at the old place doing the chowra here as well…

We are having a “Customer Group” meeting soon to discuss strategy…

Who needs a bed?

25 Jul
Contented? .. or Tired?

Contented? .. or Tired?

No Snoozing

17 Jul

Notice seen in the locker room of a Golf Club in Bangalore next to the Massage Chairs.

Sleepers Beware

Sleepers Beware

Did He or Didn’t He?

15 Jul

The ultimate “confessions” show Moment of Truth’s Hindi version is here (the show should actually be titled “Making a Fool of Yourself on TV”). Its called Sach Ka Saamna.

For those not in the know, this show puts contestants through embarrassing questions about their lives. Usually at the end of the show in the best case they end up with some money and no family..or worst case no money and no family.

Looks like they have turned to quasi celebrities in India, which is a great idea…case in point Rakhi Sawant…who’ll probably be on the show after her “Swayamvar”.

The first bakra to create a controversy is ex-cricketer Vinod Kambli who decimated club like bowlers from Kenya to Zimbabwe. Apparently he said some things on the show not too complementary to Sachin Tendulkar and the BCCI.

..true to character (which means he has a great future in politics), he has now denied making any comments..

To Quote:

My family and Sachin’s family have felt bad about this. I have not said anything against BCCI as well. I have played for India for 18 years. I can’t even dream of speaking against BCCI,” said Kambli.

I guess we’ll find out…the guy is probably begging the show producers to pull his show.. the BCCI will remove his chaddis (as in pension)..

The Lady and the “Mask”

13 Jul

So back from KL..

The flight back was packed…next to me was an elderly lady who lived in Aaaastralia..

Across the aisle from me was the NRI and his family (found out from their yaccent and later he mentioned through his mask he lived in the Bay Area)…wife, son and daughter…all of whom were wearing masks to prevent Swine Flu… they even ate wearing the mask..moving it just enough to stuff the food in..

“So do you live in Byangalore”..the lady asked me just as I was dozing off…without waiting for an answer she gave me full justification of the things she liked down under..

“Vaater is so clean..and absolutely no pallution..I think if in India you address these praablems them we can move back.”

“Nice to know..I will inform the authorities” I joked..but I think she was serious…she nodded as if she expected me to do the needful.

I needed to get out of the conversation and saw the masked man looking at me from across the aisle..I couldn’t make out whether he was smiling or not (he had his mask remember?)..

I guess my look said “What the ****” so he said “we need to be very careful you see..”

“Sure..I understand..” I said, wondering if the family would wear their masks throughout their Indian sojourn.

Arriving in Bangalore, there’s a Flu check before immigration…its actually well organized..there’s a doctor at each desk and a guy with a plastic “gun” that takes your temperature ( mine was a degree below normal and the guy said that was normal)…behind them are the immigration guys…

Funny thing is that the immigration guys were all masked up..but the doctors at the flu desk werent.. hmmm

In All “Fairness”

25 Jun

“Wanted Fair Bride….for fair and handsome groom…” (they forget to mention groom has buck teeth)
“How come he/she is so dark…must be inherited from his/her father’s side”….

Whats this obsession with fairness???

We have all kinds of ads promising to make you “white”…

The dumbest is this vaseline ad (Video below) where the coach says something to the effect ..”You are great in practice..but then you need to wear a tennis dress”…

Girl realizes that shes too colorful (read not white) for a tennis dress and decides to do something…

Girl then goes off and applies loads of vaseline, comes back and executes a perfect shot off the net to win the tournament..I think her fairness blinds the opponent…

What the f***…they even have a shade meter..

…and I am not even going to talk about those brilliant “Fair and Lovely” ads…