Archive | January, 2009

Say that twice – And Fast !!!

30 Jan

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu in New Zealand holds the record for the longest place name (okay say that twice).

It translates roughly as The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one. It has been listed in the Guinness World Records as one of the longest place names in the world. Must be tough having this for an address…

Thanks Ray Dixon for the post that set this process off.

IN OTHER NEWS

Its a country of a billion plus people and you cannot satisfy everyone. Apparently the boxers are pissed that they were not considered for the Republic Day awards….Come on guys.. its bronze…  I don’t want to put their achievements down… but then Gold is Gold…

I know the question that will follow is “How else do we encourage these sports?”… well maybe by providing better facilities.. and kicking out the morons who run those organizations?

In the meantime the USA is deducting 55 Million from aid given to Pakistan. I think they have now started to charge taxes on their aid money…either that or they realized that Zardari was billing them for the army’s (and his) laundry as well.

US authorities deducted the amount while releasing only $101 million out of Pakistan’s claim of $156 million for expenses incurred on the campaign against terrorism till April 2008, said Shaukat Tarin, Adviser to the Prime Minister on Finance.

I read somewhere that till now they have received $73 Billion in Aid. Wonder where all that money went…

..and whats with these two?

When Freddie Visits

27 Jan

If the lady of the house hates something more than anything else in this world,  its Lizards. I on the other hand tend to leave them be… I am ok as long as I dont find them in my food… Come on we used to “hunt” chameleons when we were kids.. never caught one…

BUT my wife subscribes to a different theory. Lizard Hatred. She is not alone so do fellow bloggers Terris Mom and The Solitary Cynic.

Just to make her life miserable, the buggers seem to find an excuse to come into the house despite all attempts to keep them out. Then its left to me to device a technique to kick them out.

There are certain conditions though:

1. Thou shalt not touch the lizard – directly or indirectly

2. Thou shalt not kill the lizard

The idea is to induce it to the nearest exit by making tapping sounds behind it… kinda like leading sheep… except its from behind. This is where my trusted golf clubs come into maximum use (yes.. more useful than on the course…I still keep some clubs from my old set solely for this purpose).

The technique is useful in the open area. But more often than not they are found in an area where there are utensils and crockery. This leads to condition number 3

3. Thou shalt cause minimal damage to household goods.

Continue reading

Board Exams – The Ongoing War

21 Jan
Copyright - The Creator

Copyright - Original Creator

These days I enter the house very carefully when I come back in the evenings. I could be entering a war zone…

You are right folks.. its exam time… X Std Board Exam time (actually its pre-board time). Its a time of constant battle between Mother and Son and I am an “innocent spectator”…

So heres the “normal” sequence of events (especially if something has happened)

He opens the door and then looks at me for a minute.. trying to gauge whether his mother has called me…

Mother is sitting in the room, randomly changing channels and starts watching an Urdu channel as I walk in…shes also holding a newspaper all wrong…

I wait…I wait for the complaint session to begin… usually the son waits till I am finished freshening up.. he accosts me in the room as I struggling into more comfortable clothes…

“I didnt do anything” he hisses.. a clear indication that hes in trouble…

“Well what didnt you do?”

“Whatever mum says I did.. I didn’t do”…he whispers as his mom switches off the TV…

“Well.. I see hes already spoken to you”… the mother says “Please ask him what his intentions are?”

In the meantime the son has headed back to his study table and keeps muttering…. I, in the meantime am trying to figure out which side I want to be on.. at the same time I am trying to finish getting dressed…

“Okay guys.. whats the problem?” I ask in my most “judicial” voice…

“Ask him” says the mother…

“Ask her” says the son…

Then they start off together.. something about not doing diagrams, something about yes I did diagrams,he never listens, yes I do… yada yada yada… I am in the meantime catching up on the news…

I know the fights ended when madam heads towards the kitchen and son heads back to his study table…

Its all over in 10 minutes… life gets back to normal.. mum calls out that dinner is ready.. Nikhil puts the plates out.. I eat…peace reigns until next time…

But its still a war zone..

Stay tuned…exams are in March..

Sunday Rambles

18 Jan

Never have my camera around when I need it..driving in a part of Bangalore that I don’t usually go to, I saw a sign for a Dental clinic.. “so what” you might ask.. well it was called “Eka Dantha” Dental Clinic…

Now I know Eka Dantha is a name for Lord Ganesha but it also means “One Toothed” (actually one tusked).. can’t be very good for the dental business..

A friend narrated an interesting incident. Someone who worked for him a long time ago, came and visited him. When my friend asked about the visit, he said “Sir, I am moving away to my hometown and I wanted to pay my last respects to you”… guffaw !!!

My final ramble for this Sunday evening before I go meet a couple of buddies for a drink…

I hate software updates.. yeah, I know they are useful but they seem to happen at the most inappropriate time.

Scene 1: Browsing important site..suddenly firefox decides that it wants to ask your permission to restart because it installed a new update to itself…

Scene 2: Want to shut down and leave urgently… Windows says its installing updates and will shut down automatically…then you see the screen that says Installing Update 1 of 75 …. what the **** !!!!

Shankaranthi Pictures – For the folks who are not here

14 Jan

Okay. For those folk who are away from home, here are some pictures. Nikhil and I decided to drive down to Gandhi Bazaar and capture some sights (and some Dosa at Vidyarthi Bhavan as well).

Enjoy…

gb1

The Entrance to Gandhi Bazaar

gb2

Colorful Fruit Market

gb7

Like my fruits?? He insisted we take a picture of him..

gb3

Of Course Theres Sugarcane

gb8

…and more Sugarcane…

gb4

Vegetable Market on the other side was quiet in comparison

gb5

The Flower Shops

gb6

Very Colorful

AND FINALLY FOR ALL THE HARD WORK WE REWARDED OURSELVES

gb9

gb10

gb11


It’s Shankaranthi Again

13 Jan

A very happy Shankaranthi to all. A time to give thanks for what we put on the table 🙂
Time to eat ….

Camel Ride and Other Pictures

13 Jan

Sorry Ladies… I need to Rant !!!

12 Jan

I hope lady readers of this blog will not get offended…. but I HAVE to rant…  In fact I am sure you will empathise with me.. or the wife

OKAY…what is it with women and old clothes..why cant you let us men be ????

My favorite jubba, the one that I had carefully converted to a comfortable, threadbare night garment has been “retired”…. and no,  not gracefully…

I am on my way to the shower when I find the maid dusting the windows with a garment that looked familiar… on closer examination (of the cloth..of the cloth….okay?) I found that it was my trusted half sleeve jubba…

So I say “What the ****?” (on the inside) and then walk purposefully to the kitchen where the wife is pretending that nothing has happened…

“Yo..why have you given my jubba to the maid” I ask fiercely…

“I have bought you some new stuff..this one was worn and completely see through” was the reply.

“I like it that way.. It took me years to get it to that level”

“Well..its disgusting to wear such stuff” says the wife.

In the meantime the son has joined the conversation.. “Pappa shes thrown out your old T-Shirts as well”

I gasp… “Not the ones that I had torn the sleeves from??”

“Ya I threw them out as well… ” she says nonchalantly

“How would you like it if I threw out all your saris”  I threaten

“None of my sarees are torn”…

“Well maybe I’ll tear a few and THEN throw them” I counter

She ignores me.. son giggles… I hate it when he does that… I walk away promising revenge…

An hour later I hear a loud shout..stepping out of the shower, my son sees one of the “legs” of his old torn and see through track pants being useds as a floor wipe.. yippee !!!

Now whos giggling??? Serves him right….

Gounder’s Money

10 Jan

A good friend ST who comments here sometimes as Psyched Gounder has had a very interesting experience this last Friday..

It all started when he made a U-Turn in the wrong place as he was coming back from the office. Suddenly a policeman steps in front of the car and asks him to stop.

So now the negotiation starts. The guy wants Rs. 300..finally he settles for 50. Just as the transaction is about to take place, a beggar shows up and “demands” money…ST then takes out a 100 rupee, gives it to the beggar and asks the two to split the money.

Before you can say “Satyam Scam”, the beggar takes the money and walks off. The policeman then starts shouting and running after him to collect his portion… ST did not wait around to see if the transaction completed. He tried taking a picture but apparently it didn’t come out well..

Hey !!! Whatcha looking for?

7 Jan

Seems like our ex-CM Kumaraswamy and actress Radhika (the Kannada one) head the list of searches that bring people to this blog. The fact that they travelled together to Male in the Maldives yesterday probably added fuel to the fire. And oh ya.. someone was looking for Smitha from Marimalappas college…how he/she landed up here… only Google can explain.

On the Kumaraswamy story… I mean the Airline, Air India actually circulated a copy of their boarding passes to all the newspapers… so much for privacy.. Way to go Air India.. thats one way of increasing passengers…

I am also glad to see that “useful” terms like Missing School, Kannada Swear Words, Goon Names are bringing people in.. so proud I am..

Here are the search terms:

TODAY

bangalore blues
vijay chronicles  
kumaraswamy radhika  
radhika kumaraswamy  
missing school  
radhika + kumaraswamy  
kumaraswamy and radhika  
kannada swear words  
deep purple  
sri lakshmi venkateshwara prasanna

YESTERDAY

crazy ads on television
shankranthi
“vijaya high school”  
kumaraswamy and radhika  
kumaraswamy + radhika 
seshadripuram college bhel puri  
bangalore traffic
mailing address for dead people  
goon names
smitha from marimallapa high school

RELATED POST: Dear Google Please Don’t Get me into trouble