Tag Archives: India

Dont wan’t to work hard? Get downgraded…Use Reservations…

5 Oct

States want to be labelled backward. Why? Because they’ll get more funds without working for it.

Communities vie with each other to be labelled backward.Why? Because they don’t have to work hard to get seats and jobs.

I even have a friend who got a certificate that made him a backward class in a minority community just so he’d get an Engineering seat.

Without going into details about how the system is screwed up, lets look at the mentality that causes people to do it.

Basically, the mind is fed from a very young age that you don’t need to work hard and there is an easier way without having to use your brains. The method is to milk the system and find loopholes that will help you in the milking process.

Communities that cannot milk the system get jealous and start protesting. There was one community in Rajasthan that put thousands of people on the street demanding a lower Scheduled Tribe status instead of their current higher status… WTF !!!

I get it that there are people who are economically backward and need to be helped. But the people at the receiving end of a lot of this largesse are not poor. They just want to as one “leader” puts it, they want to “qualify for government jobs” hence the need for re-classification. They don’t want to do it on merit.

Budget 2012

16 Mar

Once again the people of this great nation have gathered around TV sets, Radios, Discos etc to watch our most honorific and respected Finance Minister present yet another budget for the common man (as I have mentioned before ALL budgets in India have been for the common man). As a member of the seventh estate, I am obliged to write about it (in addition to adding serious tags that will bring people to this site).

 

There is a great enthusiasm among people to:

1. Watch the Budget Live !!

2. Watch all the news programs simultaneously have “exclusive” interviews with the finance minister

3. Analyze ad-nauseum with friends and family

4. Read multiple newspapers the next day…

..all this for something they cannot control and will find out the next day anyway.

Here are my previous analysis (I seem to do one every two years)

2010 Analysis

2008 Analysis

 

 

Low waist and other teenage traumas

24 Feb

As the youngster in the house (also known as my son) gets not so younger, the gen gap starts hitting us from time to time. Its the hair (and haircuts), the usage of deodorants, earphones..you name it and there are differences in opinion.

The main thing however (until last year) was this fascination with “low waist” trousers.

For the few who are not in the know..its essentially wearing ones pants such that the underwear label can be seen. Looks like the low waist thing was promoted by underwear companies to promote their labels. They originally tried the superman technique (wearing the underwear outside) but it didn’t seem to work.

So half way through 11th grade, junior decides that “low waist” is trendy. Sent the “conservative” side of the family into a tizzy. In this he was joined by my nephew (they are the same age), so that made two rebels. Add that to the “unkempt” look in the hair department the battle lines were drawn.

Now I can understand that one doesn’t want to wear his trousers to his chest, but this low waist thing where the fork almost sweeps the ground?? Does not make sense !!! It used to be quite bad till I think suddenly the peer group decided that this was not in style anymore (I am sure some girls commented on this).

Next the hair.. I swear that when junior goes to a haircut, he looks the same when he comes back as he did when he went there. In other words NO CHANGE. I think there must be a secret society there that is anti-haircut and anti-combing. Any combing done under duress lasts until he gets to the gate.

As I resign myself to the fact that nothing can be done, I also take hope in the fact that these styles keep changing often. Comments made by friends are taken more seriously. I am considering bribing one of his friends to comment about the hair and other things I don’t agree with. I am sure changes will happen immediately.

Ciriket Diplomacy

29 Mar

Okay..time to put a silly post together again… has been a while since I posted, SO I DESERVE AN IDIOTIC POST !!!

With India and Pakistan playing each other in the World Cup Semis, our “fearless leaders” have “in the spirit of the occasion” decided to invite their “fearless” counterparts from across the border. They have already pooh poohed the fact that they will be talking business here. “Its purely phor the enzaayment of the game” they say.
As if the cops didn’t have enough to do, every Tom, Dick, and Tiwari are attending..anyone who can afford it I guess. Last rumors were that tickets in the VIP area were going for Rs. 3 Lakh.

In fact its a good thing that they wont be talking shop. If they did, heres what the conversations between the two PMs would be like:

India: Is Dawood in Pakistan?
Pak: Well..we dont know..maybe maybe not…
India: What is it..yes or no?
Pak: What is?
India: What you mean what is…Is Dawood in Pak?
Pak: Oh I get it…
India: So is he?
Pak: Is he what?
India: In Pakistan?
Pak: Where?
India: I dont know, you tell me?
Pak: Tell you what?
India: Never mind…lets move on…watch the game

Now lets get to the next topic…

India: Does Pakistan sponsor terror?
Pak: On TV?
India: No in India…
Pak: Sponsor on Indian TV?
India: No !! No !!! Does Pakistan sponsor terrorism in India?
Pak: Why do you ask?
India: Just thought I’d bring it up..
Pak: We dont know.. I mean..we dont know…
India: Do you or dont you…
Pak: Do we or dont we what?
India: My my..look at the time..lets get moving or we’ll be late for dinner..

Pak: So lets talk about IPL
Ind: So lets talk
Pak: Why no Pak players?
India: Where?
Pak:In the IPL?
India: yes!!!
Pak: Why?
India: Why what?? Why are there no Pak Players in the IPL?
Pak:That is what I asked??
India: Why do you ask?
Pak..and Kashmir?
India: Yes? What about it?
Pak: are you going to give it up?
India: give what up
Pak: kashmir
India: why??

Oh **** it..lets go out for dinner…

Next day papers: India and Pakistan had a fruitful round of dialogue (what they mean is that they had good dessert).
All the TV channels will have an “exclusive” with each of the PMs…. AT THE SAME TIME !!!!

What the **** moment from Airtel

11 Aug

I know operators are looking to increase efficiency. Sometimes however they can go overboard.

For the last several months they have been sending text messages reminding me that the bill is due (NOTE this starts much before the due date). I get at least 2 messages for every billing cycle. Its annoying because I have never defaulted and I dont need cute SMSs reminding me. But still its okay…
Yesterday was the so called “icing” on the cake..and the guy/department who thought about it should be “rewarded”.

I get a call and pick the phone up. Its a bloody “Automated Message” from Airtel reminding me that my bill is due in 2 days…so I hang up and the bloody thing calls again…

I have 2 SIMS attached to this account, another call went to that phone as well… I called the support center and told the kind lady that if I get another phone call, I will cancel my subscription.

An hour AFTER I talked to the support desk…another call…

What a dumb idea !!! Mobile number portability..where art thou?

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“Man” for sale “Soon” and other what the ****s

2 Aug

No I am not talking about putting junior on sale..heres a picture that was sent by N.R. Ramesh

In other news…

The BBMP has started removing “illegal” road humps in Bangalore. Some road humps are over 2 storeys high (I kid of course)…in the process of removal, there are now deep holes instead of tall humps…

The Commonwealth Games are heading for great “success”. Looks like swimming is the only sport thats going to be held since all the stadia are leaking. In addition the games committe has added Money Laundering and Washing Dirty Linen to the list of sports.

Rahul Mahajan and Rakhi Sawant are going to be appearing in a new reality show called “Extreme Swayamwar”. The show is going to be sponsored by Lalit Modi in a private capacity.

Reality Tours

17 Jul

You’ve got to give it to our guys…they are creative.

N.R. Ramesh sent me this picture of a company that does Slum Tours:

While we are at that, I have a few more suggested tours:

The “Assembly or Lok Sabha Fight” Tours – See our politicians waste taxpayers money by fighting while supposedly representing the people. All these assemblies have visitors galleries anyway. A premium can be charged when a “hot” topic is being discussed. That way we can recover some of the money being wasted here.

The “Watch the politicians hold the public to ransom” tour – See our leaders in action when they protest on the streets and bring an entire city to a standstill.