Archive by Author

TV Ads – Creativity vs Social Responsibility

16 Mar

I see car Ads these days and each one seems to be keen to outdo the others in showing dangerous driving. I guess they want to demonstrate great breaking systems, they keep mentioning Air Bags (as if they want to get you into an accident)…and then the cars keep jumping over humps (great shocks), do wheelies etc… and these cars are always driven by youngsters.

Its all nice and creative but what kind of message but what message is it sending? The advertising companies definitely know they are not doing the right thing because all of these Ads have a small disclaimer that says “Don’t do this on your own” or something like that !!!

There was an accident on NICE road in Bengaluru the other day where 3 of the 4 kids riding a brand new car were killed when they try to imitate a stunt… okay silly kids, the Ad company had a disclaimer..but does a disclaimer make it alright?

Heres an Ad by Maruti Suzuki

Award Shows – Each one Has One !!!

19 Jan

Has anyone seen the number of movie Award shows that Bollywood has? Looks like each channel has one as does each consumer fact every brand in India that promotes Whiteness of Skin, Long’ness of Hair seems to sponsor one… Heres some that I know of:

1. Femina Awards

2. Zee Awards

3. Colors Awards

5. IIFA Awards

6. Etc etc etc etc etc

I am sure there are more..would someone care to add?

Its the same with TV News Channels all of them are winners in award ceremonies sponsored by them…. Times Now wins all the awards in award ceremonies sponsored by its group..same with CNN IBN and NDTV…all of them have an Anchor of the Year, Most Quarrelsome Host etc etc…

Designing a Hi-Tech, Multi-Speciality, Multi-Currency Hospital

9 Jan

The last few days have been eventful. My dad was admitted to the hospital for some tests on the “advise” of his friend the “family physician”. I had written a post on that before.

Based on my observations for the last couple of days, I believe that I have built up considerable expertise (wink wink) on how to build and design a hospital that will truly excel.

If you are planning to build a hospital, the first thing you need to do is to bring in a Chimpanzee to plan out your layout. Here are some of the do’s and dont’s.


1. DO NOT make the hospital convinient. Put departments as far away as possible. That way you can delay things while people are running around.

2. Have Emergency, Admissions, Registrations and the rooms as far away from each other as possible (refer to point #1)

3. Oh and by the way Billing is away from all these…and not to forget the insurance guys..they have to be as far away from billing as possible.

Once this is done, we need to give basic traning to people.

1. Learn “question ping pong”. Any question that you cannot answer, dont say you dont know..refer it to another department. The other department refers it back to you. You keep going back and forth till the customer is pissed off and refer it to another department who then refers it to a completely different department and they do the ping pong for a while.Finally the answer is given by the original department (they magically have the answer after a couple of hours of you running around).

2. Never Integrate..Never have a one-stop shop. If someone comes into Emergency, let them run around to admission, registration, rooms etc…lets not have the staff come over to them and take down information.

3. As soon as a patient comes into the hospital, get him into one of those skirts. That way he can’t go anywhere.

Finally use Dilbert’s Mission Statement Generator to generate your Mission Statement : At <Name of Hospital> we strive to provide international healthcare and facilities to our customers thereby providing an integrated and seamless medical experience which will enhance their lifestyles giving them a global perspective and seamless lifestyle.

DISCLAIMER: I have the utmost respect for Doctors and Medical Institutions. However I still feel that the layout of all these places are designed by Chimpanzees.

2012 in review

31 Dec



The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 25,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 6 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

US Presidential Elections – Reactions

7 Nov

Obama has been re-elected. Leaders from all around the world have reacted to his elections. While you might have heard or read reactions from several of them, local politicians and the common man reacted to Obama’s election as well. Here is what they had to say:

Deve Gowda : I invite Sri Obama to join the 3rd front….SnoreeeeZZzzzzzzzz !!!!

Lalloo Yadav: “I am the very happy that my brather Obama has victoried in election. I am pleased to present 3 buffaloes to him”

Vatal Nagaraj : Down with Obama… he speaks only Englishu

Yeddy: I invite Obama to Bengaluru to launch my party and make me CM… I also hereby request the CM to allot him a 60X40 site…

Common Man: “Obama, Shobama I don’t care? Will it make BBMP pick up the garbage???


In the meantime, Arnab Goswami, Rajdeep Sardesai et all will all be trying to get “EXCLUSIVE” interviews with Obama’s Senior Assistant Joint Press Intern to talk about what Obama’s second term holds for India…also present will be all the doyens of the Indian Software industry who will hold forth on crucial world changing issues like billing rates and visa regimes…

Vijaya High Chronicles – Brothers and Sisters “At Large”

29 Jun

Guest post by Prof. Bellave Shivaram

Almost everyone has a brother or a sister.  Some brothers and sisters may even overlap in school if the age difference is not too large.  My brother and I overlapped at VHS for two years.  I can also recall two twins in the same section who were in the year senior class and also a cousin brother pair.  There might have been others, a brother and sister pair or a sister and sister pair but I was not aware of any of those. In our case, I knew who most of my brother’s friends were and he certainly knew my friends – but it was a mutually exclusive arrangement.  He did not hang around with us and I knew his friends as mere acquaintances.  But I like to touch upon a different sort of relationship not mentioned above – I am talking about the invisible brothers (and sisters) we all have.  Let me explain.

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Kids, Eating, and their poor Mothers

9 Apr

Kids, especially boys can drive their parents (especially mothers) up the wall. I am talking about the little ones, typically two to three years old.

My guy Nikhil was a terror when it came to eating, the wife and I had to keep coming up with different diversions to try and make him eat. For a while it was sitting in the sink in the kitchen with the water running. Then for a while it was a car chase scene in a Schwarzenegger movie (the particular scene got played over and over again while his majesty was dining), then it was one particular ad for a toothpaste and so on…

Then we came back to Bangalore. One of the first things I did was to go get him Malasa Puri at the local gaadi. Still remember the first “look” he gave me when he tasted the stuff. It was like “How come you guys haven’t been feeding me this all along”…

Cut to the present day, another precocious two plus year old is continuing in the same tradition. This time its the son of a close friend. Mum makes idly, he wants dosey, mum makes dosey, he wants something else…feeding sessions in their house involve the entire family, father, mother, grandad, grand mum, older usually finds the kid whizzing about the house chased by various elders trying to get him to eat.

Last week I stop by the house to drop something off and I see this feeding session going on. Hoping to contribute, I say “Hello S, hows your chapati?”…he looks at me, not even breaking a stride and says (in Kannada) “iDu shappathy alla doshe” (this is not Chapati, its dosey)…now suddenly he stops, looks at his mother (who is running after him with the Dose), puts his hand on his hips and then says “Nange iga shappathy beku” (I want chapati now).

I made a hasty exit !!!!

P.S: Haven’t taken S to the Gaadi yet !!