Air Travel Companions

5 Oct

I hate Air Travel…its boring. What makes it interesting though is people with different quirks ending up next to you…

So heres how I classify fellow travellers. All of these are MALE except for #2 and #5

… and yes I fall into many of these categories :-)….

Which category do you fall under?….come on…be honest..

So here goes:

The Newspaper Reader – The guy is like a hound dog..the first thing he does is collect all the newspapers he can find. He then proceeds to read them throughout the trip. Turning the page is a ceremony that involves him trying to do the entire activity in his seat but in actuality using your seat as well. While he is reading page 3, you get a glimpse of page 2. You need to “push” away the paper several times before he realizes hes in your space…oh ya his speciality is waking up people to ask whether he can “borrow” their paper or magazine.

The Blanket Sharer – They tend to wrap you in their blanket as well. This traveller tends to throw the blanket around themselves and usually end up hitting you in your eye with the blanket edge. Shawls are used as well…

The Armrest Invader – The most annoying type, cannot make up their mind whether they want the front half or the back half of the armrest.

The Spiller – Usually sits between you and the airhostess and tends to spill a full cup of hot liquid on you…fortunately airlines have started countering this with a small tray.

The Singer – Wears a headphone and Sings along…inside he/she sounds like Kishore or Lata…outside it sounds like….well coming out the wrong end..

The Dozer – Someone who has absolutely no stability. When they fall asleep..they fall..usually on you.

The Snorer and the Snorter – Its the dozer who snores to match the engine..the snort wakes them up…and then they go back to dozing, snoring and snorting again.

The iPad Show-Off – Its the latest fad.. the “I have and iPad and you dont” traveller…usually plays something throughout the flight and ocassionally looks around to see if anyones watching his sleek device.

Mr. Bheja Fry -The Moron who doesnt switch off his mobile phone and remembers that he has important business when the plane is ready to take off…this business is usually telling his wife that hes sitting in the plane

Mr. Cauliflower in Ear– The guy who keeps his seat back even when hes been told several times in several bloody languages.

The Aroma Therapist –  The guy who removes his shoes as soon as he is seated, revealing socks that havent been washed for generations…and a smell that needs to be classified as a biological weapon.

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9 Responses to “Air Travel Companions”

  1. MP October 5, 2011 at 6:18 am #

    Perfect! By far your most profound observation is that most of these categories are exclusively for males – wonder why?
    There is one almost exclusive female category – “primper ” – this one goes to the rest room especially a few mins before landing for a freshening up!

    I am a snorer & snorter par excellence. I need just 2 minutes to reach snorting altitude!

    • Vijay October 5, 2011 at 8:08 am #

      The “Male” wants to annoy and doesn’t care… hooooo haaaaa

  2. lazycornerofsrini October 5, 2011 at 7:57 am #

    I have fallen into different categories at different points of time. When I was working, I have tried to show off that air travel is very normal for me. I have yelled into my mobilephone so that others know that I am big in my company. Now that I have retired, I keep my mouth shut.

    • Vijay October 5, 2011 at 8:17 am #

      So true…

    • Vijay October 5, 2011 at 8:36 am #

      Seena, remember we were talking about business class travel?

  3. Utsav October 5, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Perfect. To be honest, I must be ‘Arm Wrestler’
    The above following types of people are which usually found in every flight.

    • Vijay October 6, 2011 at 7:29 am #

      :-)…. me too..the annoying part is when 2 arm wrestlers meet…

  4. shalu9999Gowri October 5, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    I am the dozer. I fall asleep as soon as i am on a plane. Dont fall on others these days since almost all airlines have seats with head rests which I can pull out on both my sides so that my head does not fall on the person sitting next to me.

    • Vijay October 6, 2011 at 7:30 am #

      Maybe thats why the planes put the extra head rests 😀

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