Whats up Doc?

15 Dec

Disclaimer: If you are a doctor and you are not like this, then this article isnt about you…

Has anyone noticed that simple visits to the doctor just dont exist anymore. Back in the old days, you’d have a cough or a cold, you’d visit the doctor who would tell you to take a few medicines and get some rest.

Not anymore.

Old Visits

Doctor: Why son..cannot do without seeing me aa? So what is wraang?

Patient: I have temparature, cough, cold….

Doctor: All your imagination I say..just take these tablets and you will be ready for school on Monday.

Patient: Damn You Doctor (on the inside). (Outwardly) Thank You.


Doctor: Why I say..what is the problem?

Patient: I have temparature, cough, cold…

Doctor: Tch, Tch..we really need to get you tested… ok heres a set of tests I need you to get done. First do a blood test at XXX Clinical Lab, next get your stools tested (and while you are at it take mine as well.. ok ok..I kid). Next we need to get an MRI done and then lets get a chest X-Ray. After that lets get a Scan done as well. You will need to get the scan done at this center only. Please dont go anywhere else. In the meantime take this medicine and you should be okay.

Patient: Sure !@#$$%^$ (on the inside). (Outwardly) Thank You.

UPDATE: Cost of Scans Rs. 10,000. Doctors fees: Rs. 200 (so cheap..well of course it is cheap, not counting the cut they receive from the labs.

Few days later..

Doctor: Absolutely perfect I say..nothing wrong with you.. I also see that theres no more temparature..looks like the Crocin I gave you worked..

Somewhere I get the feeling that going to a clinic these days is the same as going to a mechanic. I’ve never been to a mechanic who sees my car and says everything is all right.. it always needs something done.


14 Responses to “Whats up Doc?”

  1. earthymind December 15, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

    hahaha….this is so true…though the pathetic scenario shouldnt be laughed at but condemned…

  2. My3 December 15, 2010 at 7:49 pm #

    Glad you are back blogging. Yes I agree cough cough, off to get an MRI and a chest x-ray… So as mother’s we are trying to be just as smart ;). I keep the kid, (only one in the house now, older has migrated to dorm) and drown him in kashaya and lots of liquids and strict bedrest. Most times that does the trick. Even for adults this would work, provided husbands listened ;-). Thankfully the dorm kid has decided to “borrow” my electric kettle and drinks tea and I guess that keeps him from dehydrating. Who knows. Has worked so far this year, but it is only December.

    • Vijay December 16, 2010 at 8:23 am #

      Mothers medicine best..

  3. praneshachar December 15, 2010 at 11:38 pm #

    super today its business those days it was relationship u must think twice before u go to a doctor these days and u r lucky after doing so many tests u r diagnosed correctly if u hv insurance or bills paid by corporates u r gone oh god when will u save all from this

  4. Ram December 16, 2010 at 7:21 am #

    oh! how about the follow up appointments? at least it happens here. he writes something in office records on my name to see me in next 2 months. the nurse takes me to the front desk. Front desk does the fee formalities and says, would february 2nd week work ok for you, Dr seems to be around has a couple of appointment slots open..


    • Vijay December 16, 2010 at 8:24 am #

      …ah that I forgot…

  5. RamMmm December 16, 2010 at 10:41 am #

    Ha Ha Ha. Absolutely true. We can only pray and hope we and our progeny stay hale and healthy. The pediatricians charge a bomb for a 10-15 minute consult and obviously every time I go there, a new vaccine comes up. There are some who do multi-tasking in the middle of an appointment. 😦

    LOL at your last para and its parallel to us/docs.

  6. neela December 16, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    How true.
    You earn some, feed some (others ) and earn more …

    And the ‘ special camp’ organised is another story .
    A sure-shot money minting business. At the camp they ‘discover’ problems to be further investigated using equipment available only in the most expensive hospitals.

  7. M O H A N December 21, 2010 at 10:47 am #

    hmmm… my doc doesnt believe in tests and am lucky.

    But the pedieatrican does the job like you have discovered..


  8. bach December 25, 2010 at 1:57 pm #

    True… Happened to me too.

  9. xylene January 3, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    haha True. It’s a business now. There were times when the patients used to get up from their seats when the doctor walks in. Haven’t seen that happening now.


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