In Police “Custody”

7 Feb

Vaarning.. local lingo and local englees speakings

As I see motorcycles without lights, and bicycles bearing three times the allowed number of passengers cruising past the cops, I get carried away to simpler times when the cops had little else on their plate and would spend the evenings tracking down bicycles without lights and people riding doubles.

One such even occured when Madan, Mubasheer and I were coming back from the movies. Yes, there were three of us on one bicycle.

Our technique was perfect, everytime we approached a junction, two of the “illegal” passengers would get off and walk past and then get back on after we passed the policeman.

On that fateful day, not only were we overloaded..we were “Under-Lit” (no lights). If anyone has ridden a bicycle with a dynamo, they know what a pain it is. It derives its  power from the wheel.. it also makes the bicycle that much more difficult to ride…and gives you a hernia…so normally it was not used.

So that evening, we had successfully evaded getting caught and and were finally on the home stretch. We were passing by an usually empty junction where suddenly a policeman jumped out of the darkness and caught us….

The three of us were dragged to the Ashoka Pillar Police station where we had to wait for the constable’s boss… the “daphedaar” to direct his attention at us.

“Yenro? Tribbal riding hogtha idra… baddi makkala” (Loose Translation: What I say, you are doing triple riding??? you sons of loans)

We were quivering…shaking…I was thinking about jail…the movie we had just watched was a story about some guy who ended up in a Mexican Prison. Imaginations ran wild.

Mubi was giggling. He always had (even today) the ability to see the funny side of things…. he pointed out that the daphedaar had his zipper open..so then all of us started answering in a half giggly and half nervous voice.

“Ayya Caaanstablu… forty three” he called out to the villian who bought us in… “eee nanna makkala hatthira hatthu rupayee fine iskolappa” (take 10 rupees fine from these sones of mine… “hello father”)

“Yenu saaar..” Mubi pipes up…”namma hatthira hatthu paisa kooda illa” (rekspected saar.. we do no have even 10 paisa)…then he suddenly said… “cycle alli idhe saar” (money is in the cycle)…

“Aaa Sari… hogi thogondu baa… ley 43… karkondu hogo” (ok go and bring.. hey 43 take them)…

Now how the guy let all the three go downstairs I dont know.. but along the way Mubi explained that we were going to make a run for it…while he took the bike and ran…we were supposed to run in different directions…

“You can never get a good job if you have a police record” I remember someone telling me this…now not only was I going to have a police record I was going to be a fugitive as well…

“No..no..” I hissed…” I was too scared…”. Fortunately Mubi was scared of me becuase I was his only hope for passing Sanskrit exams… so that plan was not carried out…

Of course there was no money in the cycle… so we just stood there with stupid grins on our faces… the constable was about to say something…when… Suddenly there was chaos, a group of people were dragging a man to the police station… from the abuses that were being hurled, we deciphered that the guy had been caught red handed while stealing….

Behind the group was the inspector…”Yay 43… ivanna volage karkondu hogo” (Take this guy inside)…

Suddenly we were all forgotten…all the attention was on the new situation…and the entire procession made its way indoors…

As if on cue Mubi slowly started pushing the bicycle and then picked up pace..jumped on it and cycled away with Madan and Me sprinting behind him…we looked behind to see if the Rakshasa (sorry constable) was after us.. but obviously we were yesterdays goods…

Did not go near Ashoka Pillar for the next 3 months….

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16 Responses to “In Police “Custody””

  1. sindhu February 7, 2009 at 12:16 pm #

    ಸಕ್ಕತ್ತಾಗಿತ್ತು ! 😀

  2. Pushpa February 7, 2009 at 12:43 pm #

    Vijay…very very hilarious..i just woke up and saw ur post..made me laugh totally..thx for making my day

  3. My3 February 7, 2009 at 1:59 pm #

    Toooooooooooo good Vijay saar!! I am laughing my head off as I slowly read the Kannada-in-Englishu. We were three girls called the Three Musketeers as we were the only 3 with what we call bikes 😉 not cycles. But never once were we caught :-). I love seeing so many girls on scooters now in Bangalore. It really gives a sense of freedom and safety to girls.

    As always like a good Mysorean I have digressed from your tough encounter to my good times on cycle!

  4. Rada February 7, 2009 at 4:27 pm #

    Excellently narrated and I say this, in spite of my poor grip on Kannada.

    But your translation, “What I say, you are doing triple riding??? you sons of loans)”, I cannot understand.

    Sons of loans?

    Pliss to elaborate! 🙂

  5. My3 February 7, 2009 at 6:03 pm #

    Vijay: Today your article and Churmuri’s is too much!! I am giggling uncontrollably looking at the computer screen much to my older son’s disgust while he is trying to write a serious essay on Israeli Palestine relations!!!!!!!!! 😀

  6. Vijay February 8, 2009 at 1:43 am #

    @Sindhu: Thanks
    @Pushpa” Glad to…make your day that is 😀
    @My3: lol.. and by the way, I had done the same “band” names over a year and half ago : https://bangaloreblues.wordpress.com/2007/07/03/band-names-in-kannada/
    @Rada: In kannada “baddi” means interest on a loan.. and “baddi maga” is used as a mildly strong rebuke..will need to check on the origins.. there you go..the subject of a whole new post..

  7. bpsk February 9, 2009 at 3:09 am #

    @rada – maybe “baddi magane” is similar to the insult in Tamil, “kadan kaara” (money lender).

  8. Veena Shivanna February 9, 2009 at 8:28 pm #

    lol.. sons of loans, for a moment I was wondering what this was and then translated this baddi …!

    Anyway, baddi is not loans, its interest. saala is loans…

    probably people used to lend money to others and inturn would recieve huge interest.. when people failed to give, they were scolded like this.. just a crude guess!

  9. Chitra February 10, 2009 at 3:25 am #

    hilarious stuff! you are so gifted. 🙂

    “sons of loans” – rofl!

    oh just saw veena’s pointers. 😛

  10. Rajaram February 10, 2009 at 9:29 am #

    This reminds of some funny scenes of old kannada movies:-).Baddi maga actually means a guy who lives on interest from poors & is a cheat…the episode is funny and exhibits our police dept. which is rediculed at all levels.

  11. | Balu | February 10, 2009 at 12:26 pm #

    That story had a Malgudi Day’s touch to it. Also the kannada got totally lost in the translation. Glad I can understand that much now! =D (still can’t speak)

  12. Nikhil February 10, 2009 at 3:39 pm #

    Ahem! 😀
    No comments? 😀

  13. Xylene February 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    😀 haha good one.
    Nikhil has no comments?? Vijay did you see who they caught ‘red handed’ ? 🙂

    kidding.

  14. Vijay February 10, 2009 at 4:06 pm #

    @bpsk:swear words always sound better in Tamil 😀
    @Veena: I think Rajaram’s explanation makes sense…
    @Chitra: blush
    @Balu: 😐
    @Nikhil: 😀 ???? why????
    @xylene: I dont think it was Nikhil.. probably wasnt born then

  15. amreekandesi February 14, 2009 at 7:13 pm #

    haha..hilarious story!

    Three people riding on a single bike must really stress test the poor thing!

  16. praneshachar February 28, 2009 at 12:18 am #

    very nicely told really cool vijay your adventures are versatile and hilarious now. I know how you 3 will be feeling when u were caught. yes riding cycle with dynamo on is herculean task
    Once I was caught for riding without light. I told the cop you take the cycle to police station and I will come with my fathers clerk and collect and left the cycle with a say that cycle should be intact and said I know your name and no. poor chap had no chance to push the cycle to station and after getting scoldings from appa finally went to policestation and got back the poor cop was telling after knowing that my father was an advocate sir cycle check madkoli sir yell sariyagide nane illi kayata idde hage bitre illi yenu iralla poor man waiting for our coming to station and picking the cycle back in tact
    nice memories back the lance small towns we have thi advantage
    pranesh

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