Cooku for a Weeku

18 Aug

Every other summer my uncles would visit us from the USA with their families. Invariably our house in Bangalore was the first stop and a staging area while they visited Mysore and other places.

Suddenly the house would be teeming with relatives either staying with us or visiting my uncles. Relatives would come out of the woodworks to visit… and hoping for the odd T-Shirt or perfume bottle. Considering that our house in Jayanagar had 2 small bedrooms, I wonder now how we squeezed so many people in.

It was during one of these visits that mom threw her hands up and said she needed a cook for the 3 weeks that the visitors were around. After all cooking for 20 odd demanding people while you have a full time job as an Economics prof was difficult. She had just lost a cook who was with us for 3 odd years (that nightmarish story later).

After some debate it was decided that a cook had to be hired.. this happened to be a guy who had worked in a Udipi restaurant and was in between jobs.

We kids were excited (my cousins from the US could not care less… they were missing their barrgurrs).. but for us it was a great thing to have a “real” cook at home. Moms cooking was too healthy and not exciting enough.

Day 1- He started off well enough… with some great Idlies and Vada… and typical hotal sambar… great rasam for lunch.. and dinner…there were praises all around.. snide remarks about mom’s cooking… why can’t she get some tips from this guy etc etc… amma has a frown on her face.. “What a cook” we chorus.. “can we keep him?”

Day 2 – Same dishes, same food…. still tasty enough…Some gas building up inside the grownups… one of the relatives swear that baking soda has been used.. still the cook gets the benefit of doubt…maybe its mom’s fault she didnt give him variety in the ingredients.. everything was the same.. same dishes, same taste…

Day 3 – Dishes dont change.. rasam tastes the same.. gas build up increases.. mom’s expression changes to a smirk

Day 4 – The Soda has everyone bilious… elders hatch a conspiracy to get rid of the cook… mom is grinning broadly.. she has been happily hands off from the kitchen… dad broaches the subject of firing the cook.. only to be met with a cold stare…uncles start grumbling “We came all the way here to eat hotal food aaaa?”

Day 5 – Murder plots are being hatched. Bathroom is occupied ALL the time. Food is being supplied from a neighbours house because peeepal do not want to taste the same rasam, sambar and soda filled rice again… mom is now laughing….

Day 6 – Cook is asked to go by Mom.. she cant bear to see the family suffering. The cook cannot understand why his popularity has gone from Rock Star to Porn Star in 5 days. He leaves gladly… Mom is resigned to cook for the suffering lot.. neighbours and relatives offer supporting help.

Moms cooking is bestest…. no one complains

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35 Responses to “Cooku for a Weeku”

  1. Xylene August 18, 2008 at 8:07 am #

    haha. No debate on that. Moms cooks the best.

  2. vinay August 18, 2008 at 11:07 am #

    excellent one …got to hear one more from the cook’s side where the cook ( its a she) left the job coz the employees demanded that she cook Holige everyday ( 5 members and 4 Holige’s for each ) , she got sick and tired of cooking everyday that she ran away from that home :))))))

  3. | Balu | August 18, 2008 at 11:26 am #

    So consistency is not always good heh! and yes it is the suspense of what s gonna come out of the kitchen (how bad-how good scenario) that makes eating home food interesting! =D

  4. Chitra August 18, 2008 at 3:52 pm #

    LOL

    I really liked the “β€œWe came all the way here to eat hotal food aaaa?”” :))

    Vijay, I still cant read the comments. very small font. Is it just me?

  5. Rada August 18, 2008 at 3:53 pm #

    Truly hilarious! πŸ™‚

  6. Aditya August 18, 2008 at 4:48 pm #

    Good story… When was this? Don’t remember any of it.

  7. Veena August 18, 2008 at 5:13 pm #

    Vijay, written very well.. specially the south indian english (food aa?) ..

    Looking at Aditya’s comments wonder whether you “cook”ed up the story ?

    and no matter whether you are an economics prof or a software engg, cooking at home is optionless… πŸ™‚ hope to receive that mom-cooks-best compliments from my
    child(ren).

    and where do you find these cooks in bangalore, pls let me know ?? Let me try out those soda filled rice etc., specially when there are too many relatives around! πŸ˜‰

  8. lurker August 18, 2008 at 5:49 pm #

    Rail bido abhyasa irrorge, bereyavaru yen helidru rail ansathe…

    blog bariyorge idu occupational hazard!!

  9. Harsha August 18, 2008 at 8:42 pm #

    Hotel food du 2 dina chanda..atva 3 dina chanda..
    aamele mane food de beku..illa andre hotte olagina GAS kelolla πŸ™‚
    and there is nothing like the “ammana kaiyina adige”

  10. My3 August 18, 2008 at 9:51 pm #

    I beg to differu. If I am visiting for a short while better to try out list put out by your beloved bloggers! πŸ˜‰

    It is a lot of work. More so when the visitors also insist on mom(lady of the house)to accompany them everywhere and then come home and cook. While the visitors(me and my ilk) will happily sit in the verandah and drink the hot kaapi served by said Mom πŸ˜€ while she gets the dinner ready. Cruel in my opinion. But like Veena said, when the house is full then working mom or not, a cook would really be a blessing. We do the roaming around and cooking here with visitors and it really is tiring. So kudos to you for enjoying the cooks food and not making such a big fuss that only Mom has to cook.

  11. Vijay August 19, 2008 at 2:27 am #

    @xylene: Always the best
    @vinay: wow!!! what bayi chapala
    @balu: suspense is good
    @chitra: font is small.. but you are the only one who mentions it πŸ˜€ .. seriously i have tried to change it but can figure out how.. maybe change my theme..
    @rada: Thanks
    @Adita: 4-5 years old.. the same time Ajji was in hospital
    @Veena: Sure…so lurker’s comment below is true?
    @lurker: lol
    @harsha: very correct
    @my3: somehow I guess we didnt like the house turned into a hotaluu

  12. bpsk August 19, 2008 at 2:29 am #

    Hahaha, good one. I always used to lament that we never had a cook cook at home. After reading this story, I am recanting. πŸ™‚

    Btw, when you said ‘bilious’, did you mean to say ‘gaseous?’ πŸ˜›

  13. Vijay August 19, 2008 at 2:34 am #

    @bpsk: Bilious as in not very happy because of the gas.. didnt find the right word… πŸ˜€

  14. Nikhil August 19, 2008 at 5:14 am #

    Hahahaha!! Hilarious! πŸ˜€
    Poor cook… He never knew what hit him! He’s a bit like Rahul Dravid… Same old defensive shots again and again and he wonders why he gets out! πŸ˜€

  15. Veena August 19, 2008 at 6:40 am #

    Vijay, I thought you folks had dinner/lunch in the same table and Aditya also knew that there was a cook at home πŸ™‚ enri, yaaro yaavatto heLid maatanna hmm antheera? irli

    and ya, probably the woman folks at home should transition some part of the cooking to the men(earning team?) atleast for one or two days in a week πŸ™‚

    and lurker, I agree you lurk occasionally to blogs, probably you should come in to vijay’s blog regularly!!

  16. Veena August 19, 2008 at 6:45 am #

    @Chitra, if you are using IE, then probably you can change the font size by View -> Text size->larger (mine I have set it to medium). if yours is smaller/smallest then it will be too small to read I guess.

  17. Chitra August 19, 2008 at 7:15 am #

    vijay/veena, nope mozilla. either way i managed to bump up the font size for bangalore blues alone. yay! lol

  18. Vijay August 19, 2008 at 7:27 am #

    @Nikhil: Now that you mention Dravid… lol…
    @Veena: lol.. only problem is Aditya was still a small baby then… theres a 11 year gap between us
    @Chitra: yaaaaay…. whew !!!!

  19. some body August 19, 2008 at 11:53 am #

    vijay:

    have to confess that i was sorely disappointed. i was hoping that either you would drop an egg in the sambar or your cousins would drop a burrgerr in (during the cooking process and unknown to the cook, of course!).

    either approach would have worked … and much quicker, i might add!!

    – s.b.

  20. some body August 19, 2008 at 12:06 pm #

    veena:

    “hope to receive that mom-cooks-best compliments from my child(ren).”

    here’s a tip for you – visit vijay’s mom and get contact information for mr. gaseous cook (and/or his apprentices).

    twenty years or so down the road, your kids will write a blog post similar to this one! πŸ˜‰

    – s.b.

  21. some body August 19, 2008 at 12:16 pm #

    veena:

    i did not read the last para of your comment before adding mine. you appear to be on the right track already! πŸ™‚

    bpsk:

    “Btw, when you said β€˜bilious’, did you mean to say β€˜gaseous?’ ”

    bilious really is pretty apt under the circumstances!

    nikhil:

    good analogy, but would have been much better if vijay had mendissed out the cook.

    – s.b.

  22. lurker August 19, 2008 at 1:13 pm #

    @veena – i lurk on blogs regularly. but i only write something when i have something useful and relevant to say.

  23. Ram August 19, 2008 at 6:26 pm #

    Vijay,
    chennaagidhe, ee kathe.
    we used to have guests unexpected most of the time, i remember my Mom used to prepare all the food within minutes. It is an art every mom has and not everyone can get it. and guestsu? most guests only know passing commentsu on food and processu, while sipping coffee made by the same mom. adhu problammu.
    @Veena,
    <> did you mean – guestsige soda filled rice maadidodha? hmm… πŸ˜‰ yaaraadhru low/no-sodium diet-nallidhre yenmaadOdhu? πŸ™‚

  24. Aditya August 19, 2008 at 8:08 pm #

    Yes, I remember ajji falling sick and the dozens of people at home. I was asking amma about this today and she said if she remembered correctly the cook’s name was Prakash and he was paid the princely sum of Rs. 100 for his efforts (which in late seventies was a big deal!). πŸ™‚

  25. Cuckoo August 20, 2008 at 1:56 am #

    Ha Ha Ha… hilarious.
    I loved your south Indian slang. πŸ˜€

    Have linked you on blogbharti here
    http://www.blogbharti.com/cuckoo/food/moms-food-is-the-best/

  26. Nikhil August 20, 2008 at 4:23 am #

    @ Somebody
    Good point!

    @Vijay
    You could have mendissed the cook! πŸ˜€

  27. some body August 20, 2008 at 4:54 am #

    vijay:

    next time you have more visitors than can be handled by indigenous cooks, you ought to import this one from the you yes wof yay!

    – s.b.

  28. Vijay August 20, 2008 at 8:22 am #

    @Ram: My mother is the same as well.. cooks with minimal fuss…
    @Aditya: During the same time the fokkers had a wedding as well πŸ˜›
    @Cuckoo: Thanks for the link πŸ™‚
    @sb: ha ha funny post.. I remember commenting on that as well..

  29. Dinesh Babu August 20, 2008 at 2:26 pm #

    Home food is always the best food. “Rock star to Porn star” was a LOL moment. Good one, simple, neat and funny.

  30. Veena August 20, 2008 at 3:51 pm #

    @s.b – Thats a nice thing, my son blogging after 20 years about me πŸ™‚ sounds really cool ree.. enu ee naduve pathene illa blogposphere nalli? Managers tumba kelsa kodthaara hege?

    @ Ram – I meant to have cook for cooking when guests are around and obviously as Vijay said, they make soda filled rice.. that was the link:-)

    @lurker – yaav ooravri neevu? hasi menasinakaayi tinteera tumba annisutte? or may be your cook used it!!

  31. lurker August 21, 2008 at 2:32 am #

    veena madam, bejar madkobedi. was just saying that i dont feel the need to talk without necessity ashte. if you think it was meant for you, perhaps you have a guilty conscience antha about talking needlessly antha kanathe.

    Naanu hasi menasinakai tindre neevu ghaseghase payasa jasti kudhithira antha kanathe. swalpa “high” irohage mathadthira

  32. Vijay August 21, 2008 at 9:20 am #

    @Dinesh: Thanks πŸ™‚

  33. praneshachar August 25, 2008 at 11:37 pm #

    really true cook is a cook I have lot of real stories happened in our house. on account of my mothers health and need to have a cook was a necessity and we had variety but we have to live with it we had someone who used to make very bit dosas, someones saru will always have kerosene smell he used to throw lot of kerosene to see that fire wood always burnt properly, some one who put whole of vessel full payasa into my cousins plate just because she asked foe some more. great guys but some of them are like our family member particularly one man who was with us for decades from scratch he became very good cook in about 2 decades then on in full demand but we have seen his worst and best
    nothing like ammana adige but we missed it a lot as she was not in good health and can not cook for 15 to 20 people which was normal strength including some weekly boys (varanna madi oduvaaru) They hae to go to different houses on different week days and at the time that family eats. but quite few of them we meet now they are well settled in life and remember and talk about those days and tell but for varanna they could not have reached what they are today

  34. praneshachar August 25, 2008 at 11:40 pm #

    veena & lurker
    yakappa i kopa tapa yella bidi ibbaru seri gasagase payasakke menasinakayi aredu serisi kudiri aitu. kopa bidi post enjoy madi rasadouthna saviyiri
    kopaveke tapaveke nimage
    kopa tapa dinda nivu yenu gelluviri
    shanti inda oota madi maja madi
    lot of better thnings todo olleya kelasa madi
    samaja seve madi olleya oota saha madi

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Mom’s Food is the best ! at Blogbharti - August 20, 2008

    […] Vijay at Bengaluru once again reaffirmed the quote, “Mom’s food is the best”. It was during one of these visits that mom threw her hands up and said she needed a cook for the 3 weeks that the visitors were around. After all cooking for 20 odd demanding people while you have a full time job as an Economics prof was difficult. […]

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