I have won !!!!

6 Jun

Dear Readers,

I have won the lottery. What else can I say.. I am so ecstatic. I got a mail on my gmail account telling me that I was a winner. What makes it even more special is that its from the U.K NATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS. It must be some “poorva janmada punya” (previous life’s good deed) that has made them choose me.

Life for me will be the usual and you will not see any drastic changes. Please see the copies of the letter below:


I have also prepared an acceptance letter addressed to “Helen Anderson” the person who sent me this wonderful mail.

Dear Ms. Anderson,

This is fantastic. I feel lucky to have been chosen from among millions of people. What a great honor. The last time something this exciting happened to me was when I had a tooth extracted and mistakenly kicked the dentist.

This win could not have come at a better time for me. The recent fuel hike has created a severe dent in my finances. Your 500,000 Pound Sterling will ensure that my car will run for a few months more.

I am also extremely happy that I have won in Category “D”.. (D must mean Dunces).

At this time I like to thank my agent Mr. Pinket Griphin… we like to call him Pinkie.

I am also glad to find out that the UK National Lottery uses a Hotmail account. Its a great way of showing support to the free email community.

I will contact Pinkie with all my details. I wish I could fly out there and collect my prize immediately…but then with fuel costs and all, I request your representative to come here so that the money can be handed over with cermony and pomp.
Sorry running short of time, I have to call this guy who has a bridge he wants to sell. Plus theres a Nigerian gentleman willing to pay me millions to stash his money for him.

Once again I thank you, my family thanks you, so do the stray dogs in front of my house. Long live the Queen (Radio Gaga). Please do contact me with more of your wonderful schemes. I am sure that the readers of this Blog would love to participate as well.

(Grand Prize Winner)


22 Responses to “I have won !!!!”

  1. Xylene June 6, 2008 at 6:03 am #

    Did you sent it? hilarious !!!!
    There are people who were duped in Bangalore. A house wife received sucha mail and she replied with her account number. they asked her to trasfer some money as charges and she did. She lost her money and the only thing she got was a 4 sentence news in TOI.

  2. raydixon June 6, 2008 at 9:51 am #

    You lucky dog Vijay. Boy o boy, with 500,000 pounds sterling (why don’t keyboards have pounds signs any more? Maybe because they’re designed by microsoft?) you’ll be able to afford a one bedroom apartment in London Central, or a bed-sitter in inner-Sydney. Bloody hell, and you didn’t even buy a ticket!

  3. My3 June 6, 2008 at 10:02 am #

    WOW! Vijay, I guess that is the end of blogging for you 😦
    Maaaan. You are lucky. All I get is an invitation from Nigeria where I am sure their money is worth even less than my dollar. Some people have ALL the luck in the world. Anyway, don’t forget your old blogging and High School friends. πŸ˜‰

  4. Vijay June 6, 2008 at 10:13 am #

    @xylene: Yes.. havent heard back 😦
    @Ray: What can I say…luck finds some of us
    @My3: Now I can buy all the stuff in Gandhi Bazaar before you do πŸ˜€

  5. M O H A N June 6, 2008 at 11:05 am #

    πŸ™‚ I was actually laughing out so load … wonderfull, just wonderfull. IF this gets publishedin leading dailies, at least it can save few adventeorus few from losing their money.

    keep rolling

  6. | Balu | June 6, 2008 at 12:41 pm #

    Spammers are one of the most desperate folks around. unfortunately for them gmail does a good job and marks them as spam! So I read them actually.. I reckon I lost around 50 million lotery money till now!

  7. | Balu | June 6, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    How come they are in ur inbox Vijay?

  8. Veena June 6, 2008 at 5:36 pm #

    oh my GOD.. You sent a reply?
    Funny episode.. super aagide…

    Well, got to hear some Questnet scam recently which does business online, and they need to pay money and sell their goods and additionally need to get few more people in their team to earn money.. Goats get into such teams anyway… πŸ™‚

    and Good Luck Vijay..

  9. ramsblog June 6, 2008 at 5:55 pm #

    well well well!
    hmm.. lot of non-computer-like-people-who-use-only-for-emails-to-keep-in-touch-with-their-loved-ones fall into such traps and giving their details away, thinking such emails are for real.

  10. Harsha June 7, 2008 at 3:29 pm #

    Lol.. What a funny reply ! I too had got it long back.. I just deleted it.. Do post if they reply you πŸ˜‰

    Congratulations Mr.Vijay.. the grand prize winner of UK National Lottery πŸ˜‰

  11. Rada June 7, 2008 at 5:44 pm #

    Absolutely hilarious!
    You should do more of such posts, Vijay!


  12. praneshachar June 7, 2008 at 11:51 pm #

    super reply if I total up all the lotteries I won I think I can declare more than what HDK or
    JR or some othere who declared more tha 100 crores for fun I have replied some of them and they never came back after seeing the reply but your reply is superb and hats off to your creativity by including street dogs great ideas.
    I had asked them to deduct whatever charges plus 5% commission and transfer the funds to almighty account for charity

  13. megcloud9 June 8, 2008 at 6:03 am #

    took me 2 minutes to finish laughing out loud !

    i really wish they’s respond to ur mail πŸ™‚

    like balu says “how come it’s in your inbox” though gmail has a pretty decent spam filter !

  14. Vijay June 9, 2008 at 2:41 am #

    @Mohan:Spam and Phishing still account for Millions of $
    @Balu: Why did it end up in my INBOX instead of being spammed?.. as I mentioned “poorva janmada punya” πŸ˜‰
    @Veena; πŸ™‚
    @ram: It the lure of promises
    @Harsha: Thank you.. thank you
    @Rada: Thanks
    @Pranesh: lol
    @megcloud9: I wish they would as well.. and I will publish it.. dont think they will though

  15. Ramki June 10, 2008 at 5:29 am #

    LOL! wat a reply.
    May be Vijay they made your reply as SPAM…hehehe

  16. Nikhil June 11, 2008 at 4:05 am #

    Congrats maga!!! Keep up the lucky streak! πŸ˜€
    Swalpa duddu ee kade kalsi saar! πŸ˜€

  17. Vijay June 11, 2008 at 6:35 am #

    @Ramki: Maybe they did πŸ™‚
    @Nilhil: Please send me all your bank account details πŸ˜‰

  18. Veena June 11, 2008 at 7:27 am #

    Vijay, just imaging Niks telling this to you.. “Congrats Maga”… πŸ™‚

  19. dinu June 13, 2008 at 8:11 am #

    Congrats πŸ˜› I want a share of it …… u got it free na…………. ** back my yahoo account where I get plenty of such emails ……..

  20. Vijay June 14, 2008 at 2:40 am #

    @dinu: sure thing… whenI get it πŸ™‚

  21. JKBalaji July 3, 2008 at 10:26 am #

    Replace Anderson with Lloyd and Griphin with Bledsoe and one would think I was looking at my Inbox! Took inspiration from you and send a somewhat similar mail in reply. Good blog.

  22. Vijay July 8, 2008 at 5:30 am #

    @Balaji: Thanks.. let me know if you get a reply..

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