Bangalore Driver Avatars

18 Apr

Heading into the weekend, heres my take on Bangalore’s driving population who contribute to the chaos with their unique driving and honking skills. Here are some “avatars” of Bangalore Drivers:

  • The “Honkalator” – The driver who has his horn attached to his accelarator. The faster he goes the louder the honking gets.
  • Hearbeat Honker – The nervous honker aka the road runner (beep beep) – Has to keep honking every 20 secs.
  • Musical Moron – The musical horn (pappara-bam-paraaam)
  • The “L” Boarder – Restarts the car at every junction. Tends to slide backwards when stopped at an incline
  • The “Inadequate” driver – Has all kinds of things attached to his car – fancy fenders, expensive rims, gaudy lights
  • The Boom-Box Man – Blares music loud enough for 3 cars
  • Basketball wannabe – Drives through free lanes even though it means snaking across the road. Finally ends up behind the car that he overtook (example.. MY DRIVER)
  • Mr. Vaccum in the Brain OR “I need to go to the toilet badly” – Honks his horn as soon as the light goes green (even though hes the 20th car from the signal)
  • Face to Window Guy – Loves his windshield so much that he sits with his face pressed against it. He wants to look at the ground in front of him.
  • Directionally Challenged – Goes right with the left indicator turned on.
  • Absent Minded Professor – Leaves the indicator on for his entire drive.
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22 Responses to “Bangalore Driver Avatars”

  1. Xylene April 18, 2008 at 2:59 pm #

    Sir Median – This guy jumps medians when there is a traffic jam. Be it a Honda City or a Maruti 800, he just takes it over the median.

    The Look guy – He gives you ‘The Look’ if you cut him off and just drive ahead and cut someone else off.

    Pushy auto – This autodriver push another auto with his foot.

    Guy ______ – This guy can’t take eyes of his girlfriend riding on pillion.

  2. chethan April 18, 2008 at 3:53 pm #

    Hahaha .. well put 🙂
    you could have named the ipl teams better 🙂

  3. | Balu | April 18, 2008 at 4:25 pm #

    > Dyslexic driver
    Can’t read sign boards- atleast tahts the excuse they give when caught by police

    > Gladiator
    Drives an SUV generally objective to push all other vehicles out of the road

    Meanwhile I am an absent minded professor

  4. Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab April 18, 2008 at 6:34 pm #

    Lol, I like the Mr.Vacuum one the best; I have seen that behavior so many times but never noticed it. Also, how about mr.jabberer taxiwala – treats the cellphone as an indispensable driving accessory, and is on it all the time (except when he sees a cop, of course)

  5. some body April 19, 2008 at 12:16 am #

    honkalator is ideal for ambulances (ok, maybe not desi ambulances but usa kind ones, where the louder you honk, the quicker people give way).

    i have mimcked the l-boarder (wihout using the l-board), most famously right across the grassy knoll where kennedy was assassinated (though not that long ago!!), which is a scary slope for those inexperienced with the manual transmission. my passenger had to take over the car when i froze in fear trying to restart it.

    the boombox men – are they as scary (ultra-max bass) as folks here, who just about knock the glass off the windows?

    – s.b.

    p.s.: i gotta confess =- i did not understand what you meant by the description of your driver, i.e., i failed to understand that classification.

  6. Veena April 19, 2008 at 3:17 am #

    Car Blockers – Folks who come and park their cars so that the others have to wait until this guy takes it out from the parking lane, many a times they sneek their two wheelers in a small space left…

    Good Listing, all bengalooru experience! 🙂

  7. praneshachar April 19, 2008 at 5:19 am #

    yella bengloorina driver purana chennagide.
    nice compilation by vijay and well supported with additions by others.
    great going and now you can see various types of decorated vehicles
    with lot of fanfare because of elections. so much decoration for the driver it is very dificult to see. but only silverline is he need drive this will go in snail pace and people will push it!!!!

  8. Yaake April 19, 2008 at 9:33 am #

    hahaha!! i think u’ve summed it up quite well… i think i’m one of the basketball wannabes… hehehe… its so frikkin frustrating… 😀

  9. My3 April 19, 2008 at 11:44 am #

    HA HA HA!!! We have the “Inadequate” people here also! Yesterday we were stuck behind a H-U-G-E suv because his left turn indicator was barely visible. It was a tiny little red light blinking on that large(dare I say it) backside :-). I told my teenager son, people buy big cars to compensate for “other” things as we were sitting behind him in our little Honda. And both of us laughed and laughed all the way home.

  10. Simi April 19, 2008 at 5:00 pm #

    Good work, AS USUAL, Vijay! Here’s my 2 cents:
    Mr. Parker – parks the car whereever he feels to, almost literally.
    Light-headers – All they do is switch on their headlights so that their flouting of rules (do they exist??) is offset by the power of the headlights (includes scooty aunties who ride against one-ways). I could have named them head-lighters but light-headers seemed more befitting and you know why!
    and here’s my traffic law called Law of Escapism: “You need to pounce on the driver of the vehicle involved in an accident with yours, irrespective of who’s logically at fault, as immediately as you can but before the other person does, unless of course the other vehicle belongs to Z-category!” (Refer to my book for the definition of Z-category of vehicles).

  11. Vijay April 20, 2008 at 2:27 am #

    @xylene: Good ones…
    @chetan: Thanks… I think by the time they got to naming the IPL teams they had run out of money…or creativity
    @Balu: aha !!! Mr. Prof..
    @bpsk: another version of Mr.Jabber is the Social Talker Taxi guy..talking looking at you instead of the road
    @sb: My driver is a constant “lane changer”… grass is always green on the other side (or the other lane)…
    @veena: The parking guys.. so true
    @Pranesh: The “decorated” vehicles are just starting
    @yaake: confessions confessions 😉
    @My3: I guess you are talking about the “Inadequate” driver… we have them here as well
    @simi: Thanks…Good one “light headers”…. and yes.. offense is the best form of defense…

  12. La Vida Loca April 21, 2008 at 2:09 am #

    have to visit blore soon

  13. Vijay April 21, 2008 at 2:14 am #

    @La Vida Loca: We await your visit so we can give you a real ive experience 🙂

  14. vinay April 21, 2008 at 4:05 am #

    Vijay, Nice list …one more

    Vaastu Purusha : Has definite directions where he will ply , no amount of cajoling makes him change his mind ( Illa saar, aa kade baralla)

  15. M O H A N April 21, 2008 at 8:21 am #

    Too funny. thanks

  16. Srinivas April 21, 2008 at 11:22 am #

    A friend actually saw Mr.All-In-One: a guy wearing his helmet on his hand, talking on his cell and cutting across a red signal!

  17. tarlesubba April 21, 2008 at 2:55 pm #

    rofl!!!

  18. Vijay April 22, 2008 at 9:09 am #

    @Vinay: true
    @Mohan: Tarle: Thanks
    @Sriniva:Cool one.. the All Round Idiot 🙂

  19. Harsha April 29, 2008 at 6:55 am #

    LOL.. Nice one

  20. Rohini Kamath November 12, 2008 at 11:09 am #

    Hilarious article!

    I am lost man – will drive slowly in the center of the road looking for a house/shop/parking unmindful of the traffic behind him

    Colourful bus – this colourful bus will stop several feet from the bus stop, blocking a free left turn for ages with a conductor convincing passersby to get into the bus. Bus wont leave until it is full

  21. Vijay November 12, 2008 at 11:15 am #

    @Rohini: Thanks… oh ya.. the lost one.. Robinson Crusoe…

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Classifying Bangalore driving styles | DesiPundit - April 20, 2008

    […] are the same, but each bad driver is unique.  This must have been Vijay’s thinking, as he  categorizes the different types of bad drivers on Bangalore roads.  It is quite funny, and readers have added their own categories in the […]

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