Of Polls and Promises

15 Apr

Ok, its the poll season again. Newspaper reports say that crime rates have dipped because all the goons are getting ready for elections. Of course just like the cases against them theres no evidence to prove this.

Parties are promising rice for Rs.2 a kilo, reservations and quotas for the historically supressed, free television etc etc.

So dear Politician, my future leader, heres some poll promises that I’d like (readers please add your own):

1. Don’t come home to campaign. Put a leaflet in my mailbox. I dont want to shake your hand.

2. Promise not to scare me with pictures of you and your supporters. I dont want to see a picture of you cuddling a child.

3. Please let me know how and where I can pick up my color TV.

4. Please dont have any of those rallies UNLESS you have an item number performance by Rakhi Sawant… and NO DONT JOIN IN !!!

5. When you bring in your leaders from Delhi, can you please please have them say Karnataka and NOT Karnatak and Kannada not Kannad.


17 Responses to “Of Polls and Promises”

  1. December Stud April 15, 2008 at 9:41 pm #

    Just the TV, huh? You don’t want that rice? 😉

    And, I just read your quote/unquote…well, can’t stop laughing.

  2. Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab April 15, 2008 at 9:51 pm #

    Hey, in the US, politicians like Obama & Hilary go on TV comedy shows. Bill Clinton even famously played the saxophone on Jay Leno. Would be fun to see the Karnataka politicians play the Nadaswaram on an Udaya TV show. Maybe on Hrudayaninda? :p

  3. kannadada kudi April 15, 2008 at 10:11 pm #

    Amen to that. Especially, the last point – the Delhi Politicians need to be told that they are in Karnataka and not Karnatak and people here speak Kannada not Kannad!!

  4. My3 April 16, 2008 at 12:20 am #

    Sign my up for my color tv ;-). My kids need an extra one to watch Lord of the Rings for the n-millionth timen when they visit Grandpa and Grandma every summer :D. I think, even they know the dialogs by now!

    BPSK, Billy Boy is actually good with the sax, please please please do not make me listen to our politicians taking over my precious little Indian tv time 😦

  5. xylene April 16, 2008 at 2:13 am #

    TV? wow, i cud use one for my bedroom.
    Just one request, please don’t wake me up at 9 again. 😦

  6. Vijay April 16, 2008 at 2:24 am #

    @DS: Now that you mention it…. good idea to queue up for the rice as well..
    @BPSK: Cool.. no ones thought about it yet (inviting them to a show)… wonder why? It would certainly spice things up…
    @kannadada kudi: (or Kannad Kudi for Delhi politicians)…their worst nightmare.. pronouncing Yediurappa….
    @My3: Please please join queue
    @xylene: You have been marked for a 6.30 AM wake up call 😉

  7. Chitra April 16, 2008 at 2:32 am #

    Good one, Vijay. haha

    There were free sarees near here.

    Anyway, I really hope they don’t ruin the city with those extra large ugly gaudy posters! Really gets to me. And they really take the liberty to put them up anywhere they want to!

  8. narendra shenoy April 16, 2008 at 8:41 am #

    Well said! That’s telling ’em.

  9. praneshachar April 16, 2008 at 11:54 am #

    Poster wars will be less thanks to Election Commission. hana henda sire tv akki innu yeneno bhagawantha colour tv bekantha ninu kooda naradana jothge bandbittia athava rakhi sawant show nodlikke husharagi irappa
    nice one vijay inn shuru chunavane maja mundina 50 divasa
    nodona kadu yarige ide matadarana aashirwada !!!!!!!!

  10. | Balu | April 16, 2008 at 3:18 pm #

    “Promise not to scare me with pictures of you and your supporters. I dont want to see a picture of you cuddling a child.”
    Come on yar be considerate.. think of the money police saved on printing wanted posters..

  11. Vijay April 17, 2008 at 6:00 am #

    @Chitra: Unfortunately the poster things have already started to happen.. #$%^$$#
    @narendra: Thank You Sir…
    @Pranesh: EC has no control sir… sumne mAathAadthare ashte
    @Balu: hmmm forgot about that… rougue’s gallery

  12. raydixon April 17, 2008 at 8:52 am #

    In a desperate bid to hold on to power, our previous Prime Minister introduced a “baby bonus” of $5,000 per new kid born. How would that go down in India, Vijay?

  13. Vijay April 17, 2008 at 9:04 am #

    @Ray: We are elready enroute to being the most populous country in the world… that too with no bonus…I think it will go down very well here 🙂

  14. raydixon April 17, 2008 at 11:05 am #

    Getting paid $5,000 by the Government for having sex sounds good to you too then?

  15. Vijay April 17, 2008 at 11:09 am #

    @Ray: So what happened there? Any takers?

  16. raydixon April 18, 2008 at 3:23 am #

    Mate, Australia is now crawling with teenage single mums wheeling around 2 or 3 kids (that’s $15,000 worth!).

    It got so bad they had to introduce an age limit .. maybe they should have thought of that in the first place.

    The worst part is the new PM is going to keep it going.

  17. Veena Shivanna April 18, 2008 at 5:13 am #

    Gaudy posters are not just now.. it will be always there, for any festival or somebody’s birthday or some politician visit to the city!!

    Isn’t it a good business idea Vijay?

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