Verbal Bloopers Down Under

4 Mar

Ray Dixon commented on an earlier post (where I made fun of Kiccha’s language). He  has assured me that bad English is an universal phenomenon. To quote:

Over here the “best” comments (and most intelligent) come from the AFL footy scene. Like these:

  • “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” (Mick Malthouse – Collingwood Coach)
  • “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” (Shane Wakelin – Collingwood)
  • “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” (Peter Bell – Fremantle – on his University Law studies)
  • “You guys line up alphabetically by height,” and “you guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” (Barry Hall – Sydney Captain at training)
  • “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.” (Brock Maclean – Melbourne on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt)
  • “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” (Essendon coach Kevin Sheedy on James Hird)
  • “It’s basically the same, just darker.” (Jonathan Brown – Brisbane on night Grand Finals vs Day Games)
  • “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy? He said, ‘Barass, I don’t know and I don’t care’ “.(Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton)
  • “I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.” (Barry Hall – Sydney when asked about the upcoming season)
  • “Luke Hodge – the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago.” (Commentator & ex Hawthorn player Dermott Brereton)
  • “Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.” (Port Adelaide coach Mark Williams)
  • “He scored that goal after only 22 seconds – totally against the run of play.” (Dermott Brereton)
  • “We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then they scored.” (Ben Cousins – West Coast Eagles … maybe Ben was thinking of ’scoring’ something else)
  • “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body” (Luke Darcy – Western Bulldogs)
  • “That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical.” (Dermott Brereton)
  • “Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football – but none of them serious.” (AFL Operations Manager Adrian Anderson)
  • “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” (AFL Chief Executive Andrew Demetriou – pure genius)
  • “I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL, but there are none better.” (Dermott Brereton)
  • “I never comment on umpires and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.” (Richmond coach Terry Wallace)
  • (Garry Lyon) “Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?” (David Schwarz) “On what?”
  • “Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.” (Dermott Brereton)
  • “Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.” (Dermott Brereton)

5 Responses to “Verbal Bloopers Down Under”

  1. My3 March 4, 2008 at 9:58 am #

    “You guys line up alphabetically by height,” and “you guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” (Barry Hall – Sydney Captain at training)

    My favorite!^^^^

  2. raydixon March 4, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    There are plenty more where that came from too, Vijay. We are the land of dumb sports comment where most AFL players answer questions by starting, “Yeah, no, but ….” It’s a laugh a minute. Cheers.

  3. praneshachar March 5, 2008 at 9:08 am #

    LOL reall cool stuff for a hot day. laugh and laugh enjoy thanks to both raydixon and vijay for bringing it here as a main post from a comment

  4. neela March 7, 2008 at 8:46 am #

    I wish I could ‘see’ Dermott Brereton in action!!!

  5. Chitra March 11, 2008 at 11:33 pm #

    LOL Very good ones. :))

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