Rajanikanth and the Universe

15 Aug

A friend of mine forwarded this hilarious take on Rajanikanth.

1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.

2. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.

3. Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.

4. When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

5. Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

6. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.

7. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.

8. Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.

9. There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

10. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

11. Rajnikant can divide by zero.

12. Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.

13. When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.

14. Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

15. Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

16. Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”

17. If you Google search “Rajnikant getting kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

18. Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

19. Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

20. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

21. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

22. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.

23. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

24. James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

25. Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair

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9 Responses to “Rajanikanth and the Universe”

  1. Ashish August 15, 2007 at 5:08 am #

    Hey,

    I’v latched onto your blog recently, and it makes for pretty pleasant reading.
    As an FYI, these facts are actually about Chuck Norris, and there are quite a few of them – http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    Regards,
    Ashish

  2. bachodi August 15, 2007 at 5:41 am #

    I read this somewhere
    “Rajanikanth has got a different technique for farting. He applies a silencer before farting.”

  3. December Stud August 15, 2007 at 9:34 pm #

    Had been to this link thro’ bachodi a lo ng time back (not sure if that’s the original though):

    http://tides.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/top-rajnikant-facts/

  4. Vijay August 16, 2007 at 2:05 am #

    @Ashish: Thanks for the compliment…. and the link as well.. I felt this was too original to be true

    @Bach: DS answer below…

    @DS: Thanks.. several floating around

  5. S.Ganesh Kumar August 23, 2007 at 2:05 pm #

    Rajinikanth is no match to Banda Balayya.Here’s the proof:
    http://jokerbalayya.blogspot.com/

  6. mbchandar September 2, 2007 at 11:42 am #

    i didnt know these….

  7. S.Ganesh Kumar September 4, 2007 at 6:37 am #

    Hey!No response?

  8. Vijay September 4, 2007 at 9:38 am #

    @Ganesh: LOL.. need to read thru this at leisure

  9. tutul February 19, 2008 at 5:35 am #

    U just shut up ur mouth.As far i know Rajnikanth is a human being like us not a he-man.

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