1. A stopped bus suddenly starts cutting into your lane when you have crossed it halfway
2. The passenger at the window seat in a bus decides to spit ONLY when your car is next to it
3. An Auto on your left at a traffic light will always move across to the right once the light turns green
4. If a passenger in an Auto is giving signals, then the Auto will move in the opposite direction
5. Buffaloes always cross the road when you are in a hurry and seem to have ALL the time in the world
6. The more sound an Auto makes, the slower it goes
7. Lesser the money in your pocket, the faster the Auto Meter ticks
8. Busses seem to stop for ages if you are stuck behind them. They only stop for a second if you are trying to board the bus.
9. The only empty Auto is on the other side of the street
10. An Auto will squeeze into any available space between vehicles just so he can go an extra two feet and stop.
11. A person crossing the street will stop when you stop and start again when you start again
12. Helmets are generally used as elbow guards, bum guards and even abdomen guards… unless theres a cop around
13. One car parked next to a “No Parking” sign nullifies the sign
14. Traffic at certain junctions is smoother when there are no cops
15. It is illegal to go around a roundabout. You have to cut across.
July 17, 2007 at 1:35 am |
LOL..hilarious!
As for # 2, aren’t you glad you don’t drive a bike
July 17, 2007 at 2:55 am |
So darn funny! You have such a gift! WTG!
Loved this particularly, “Helmets are generally used as elbow guards, bum guards and even abdomen guards” I was actually laughing out loud.
Thanks!
July 17, 2007 at 4:19 am |
The noise of rickshaw is directly proportional to the adlutration of engine oil and invesrly proportional to your defness.
July 17, 2007 at 5:14 am |
Vijay,
How come Call Centre Cabs don’t figure in your Murphy’s Laws? Are they beyond all Laws?!!!
July 17, 2007 at 6:08 am |
Bhaarataadyanta ee rules apply aagatte ,sir.
biddu biddu nagta iddini.
July 17, 2007 at 6:38 am |
DS: I have been the “recipient” of this gift on one occasion when I was in College.
@Chitra: Thanks… blush, blush
@Mohan: lol
@Ramesh: Call Center Cabs have their own laws…
@Neela: Correct…
July 17, 2007 at 8:18 am |
Funny dude.
Did you see vaticans ten commandements of driving? (I’m serious. google it)
July 17, 2007 at 10:50 am |
Buses can turn u into bushes, once they start from a station!
Autos are not available when u want to board them, and u r in a hurry!!
Follow an auto, u’re definitely going to get into a fight with that guy, these guys are seriously united in such matters.
When you are not wearing a helmet, and u have to stop at a signal, only then there is a cop around. When you are wearing the helmet, and are at the signal, cop is having tea somewhere.
and sooooo on.
July 17, 2007 at 5:07 pm |
Too good!! Check this one out too – http://safetvalve.blogspot.com/2005/12/bangalores-traffic-laugh-it-off.html
July 17, 2007 at 5:12 pm |
[...] Vijay has a hilarious list of the laws that Bangalore’s traffic follows. 7. Lesser the money in your pocket, the faster the Auto Meter ticks [...]
July 18, 2007 at 8:25 am |
ha ha! good one…
July 18, 2007 at 10:44 am |
really good BBN HHN
always busses will run on the other side of the road you are waiting
July 18, 2007 at 12:33 pm |
perhaps, vijay u should publish them(since u are a pro) a real rib-tickler. have u considered it? let the others benefit from the laughs..
July 18, 2007 at 7:08 pm |
vijay cross post maaDtira?
July 19, 2007 at 12:48 am |
@mouna: Thanks for the kind words
@TS: Sure. . Yelli? Praja nalla? I do not have access yet. Will be grateful if you can.
July 19, 2007 at 10:47 am |
done saar. nimmde taDa.
July 20, 2007 at 6:46 am |
And… if you manage to safe guard your car from scratches(or even small dents), you can surely nominate yourself to Limca book of records!
Vijay, neevu traffic police dept ge commissioner aagi transfer togoLLi sir
July 20, 2007 at 11:04 am |
Really funyyyyy……..
good work..
July 21, 2007 at 9:08 am |
Damn Vijay.. that was awesome…. hats off mate
U are speaking our felings.. only u word it better! : D
July 22, 2007 at 3:19 am |
@Ravi,Balu : Thanks…
July 22, 2007 at 4:39 pm |
LOL , good ones. .,
Looks like you have suffered a lot in Bangalore.
July 24, 2007 at 6:27 am |
Many congratulations sir! Saw this post reproduced in B’lore Mirror:)
Pardon me for my delayed response.
Good going (that’s something I can’t say about my blog at the moment… lollll).
July 25, 2007 at 2:52 am |
@Bach: Suffer everyday.. actually I should not complain.. my office is about a km away from my house.
@Anand: Thanks.. didn’t know about that. We are awaiting your return to blogging… just as we waited for JK Rowling to write the last Harry Potter book
August 3, 2007 at 3:04 pm |
That was an incredibly funny post.
Your theory – though a little specific here – can be generalized to all vehicular traffic in India. Just the other day, I was in Mumbai (after coming back from the US for a month) – and I thought I had reached traffic hell.
And then, I went to Surat (on the “golden quadrilateral”). Though the road was lovely, the drivers did not have a clue as to how to drive. And then in Surat – little kids were diriving scooters – and people actually started to honk when we stopped at a red light.
And then I went to Hyderabad. There were places in the city which did not move at all. All the pedestrians crossing the roads were as good as blind-folded.
The tatas are talking about a 1 lakh car right now. I am scared.
November 28, 2007 at 5:23 am |
Bangalore.. once a beautiful city, adorned the rightful name ‘Garden City’. It is disheartening that this city is ruined. Anyone courageous enough to take the responsibility? A big laugh. The city planners and ministers will be the first to wash off their hands. Is there any punishment for bad city planning? Well what is that???! If given a chance will anyone punish such planners..? I am sure to get an overwhelming response. Bangalore has been ruined the day IT companies were given lands in and around the city. Interesting part is that the government was able to bring in big MNCs and created jobs for lot of us.. but did not care about their own land. Roads were left as narrow as possible. Buildings coming up everywhere but not enough road for the people of those buildings to go through. Take example of EPIP/Whitefield area. How many roads lead to this place from the main city? Just 2 actually. Airport road and Old Madras road. Interestingly they both converge to one road, which leads to the EPIP entrance. It takes one 1 hour and 15 mins (if you are lucky) in a small car to reach EPIP/Whitefield office. Just about 12km. Do you think this is the time one should spend traveling every day one way to work? Anyone really bothered? Each one of us makes noise that it is so bad being here in this traffic. Anyone cares about it really enough to look for a solution? Our city administrators did not care about keeping land for roads to accommodate for the traffic, which they facilitated by introducing so many companies in one small place and that too very close to the city.. some being within the old city limits itself. Now to ease the traffic they have to build enormous number of flyovers, which will cost dear to the government. Wish they planned well, which would have saved this expense. Any idea how much taxes Bangaloreans pay to the government? Well you wont be able to imagine. So where is the people’s money going? Bangaloreans pay the highest tax compared to any city in the country. But still the infrastructure is not in any form good enough to call Bangalore a city. A1 city status!!! This city seems doomed. And still see the drama at that the governance. Ministers are becoming friends one day and same group becomes bitter enemies the following day. And our ex-’sleeping’ prime minister…. we should be ashamed to have this kind of people to govern us. Can any of us feel the consequence of electing these fellows? Well…we have a Bangalore city which they simply raped and made money. People from all over the world are buying a flat or land in this city. To rape the city further. Do you have any idea.. a large number of the actual dwellers of this city can’t afford to stay in this city any more and a significant number have sold their living in the city to settle outside. It is well understood that if the city is growing.. it will eventually become a cosmopolitan city. But should it be at the cost of the city’s own people who couldn’t hop onto the growth train? It is pretty amazing that people here are still buying flats, apartments and houses and ignoring the fact that at the price we pay to stay here the city is not in any form worth living. Whatever you buy here is costlier than any city. Infrastructure can not in any form be called good. And still no one bothers. To top it all, our Blackberry police is doomed by its own corrupt officials. Wish I had a reset button to start the city all over again. Bangalore… my lovely city is taken by a sever disease and I don’t find any help. I don’t know if you feel the same. Speak please.
December 20, 2007 at 12:51 pm |
lol
September 4, 2008 at 5:22 pm |
Vijay! This is an awesome post!
“The more sound an Auto makes, the slower it goes”
A gem!
ROFL post. Keep up the good work.
September 5, 2008 at 3:40 am |
@Twisted: Thanks…