Belgian in the Bathroom

In the summer of ‘96 we were invited by a large Govt. agency to do an EDI demo in New Delhi. We (my company and our vendor) decided to fly in an expert from Belgium. BH was this EDI expert with classic French accent like Inspector Clousseau (Pink Panther fame).

So, the Demo starts in right earnest (it was spread over 2 days). The 2 days are Saturday and Sunday.

The agency that has asked for the demo has brought in 20 of its trainees to “manage” the demo. These kids, barely out of college are eager to impress their superiors and they do that by asking BH all kinds of questions. Our vendor’s team is doing their best to control the process, but like a true intellectual, BH is getting hassled.

Day 1 ends with a flourish and we have all our softwares installed and ready for “testing” on Day 2.

Day 2 is even more of the same, things are chaotic. BH is threatening to walk out. We are all hassled. Suddenly he decides he needs to go to the bathroom.

Bathrooms in Government Buildings are pathetic to say the least. At least the ones that public get to use. They usually have an old rusty bucket and a dripping faucet and the chances of you getting a clean one is solely dependant on the guy who used it before you.

Anyway we were so caught up, we let him go and he was directed to the “public” bathrooms that “adorned” the place.

An hour later someone realizes that he’s not back yet. So its suggested that we go look for him. So, a group of us wandered outside fully expecting to see BH smoking outside… it was lunchtime anyways. Not seeing him there, we wandered towards the bathroom. As we got closer, we heard a faint cry of “Help Help”… we suddenly realized it was our friend… when we got within earshot we asked him what the problem was… and then it hit us.. the poor guy DID NOT HAVE TOILET PAPER… he had been yelling himself hoarse for the past hour but it being a holiday no one heard and we were too far away.

So next was this entire exercise about how to “extract” BH out of the bathroom. Someone suggested water. He refused to comply. Govt buildings in Delhi are far away from shops that sell toilet paper.

Finally we send a car out to buy toilet paper, this takes another 45 minutes, the whole time the poor guy is inside (feeble attempts were made to give him “alternate” paper supply). Now more and more “curious onlookers” are gathering. Finally the paper arrives and BH is able to make his exit. Stuck in a bathroom in searing heat had taken a toll on him and he looked like he might burst into tears any minute. He also couldn’t understand why people were avoiding him. Finally it was decided that we send him back to the Hotel to “freshen up”.

BH came back and continued.. none the worse for the wear (pun intended). He was ribbed about this episode a bit and took it in his stride.

Did he ever come back? Yes.. I met him 6 months later in Chennai. But this time he had a roll of toilet paper in his PC bag. “Ziss time I am prepared” he told me…