Jaipur

IN MEMORY OF LIVES NEEDLESSLY LOST

 

A new Gym for the Boys & Bow Wow

Most interesting news of the weekend was that the Cricket Board (BCCI) was going to build a gym and fitness center for our fearless leaders in the Parliament.
Thats surprising ’cause I thought that the MP’s got enough exercise when they staged walkouts, stormed the well of the house and engaged in fistacuffs with each other. The communists are apparently against this display of capitalism. They get their exercise the old fashioned way…by marching in the hot sun to the Rashtrapathi (now Rashtrapathni) Bhavan.

Arjun Singh, the Congress party’s own version of the Vodafone pup suddenly had a burst of bravado in which he declared that the Congress party was full of hypocrites… yada yada yada… two days and one cold shoulder later hes back to licking stamps and declaring his unending loyalty.

Heres the cute Vodafone video .. must apologize to Vodafone for the comparison to Arjun Singh.

The Health Minister from Hell and other What the ****

He wants Shah Rukh and Amitabh to stop smoking. He wants them to stop drinking.

No. Not in real life… in reel life.

Right from the day he stepped into office, Anbumani “Gasbag” Ramadoss has done everything except the work that needs to be done by a health minister. He seems to be hell bent on SRK and the Big B. Maybe there is some childhood fetish that hes trying to fulfill.

If he made a movie, there would be the intro titles that would immediately be followed by the ending titles.

The election frenzy has now reached fever pitch…One of the things thats been revealing is how the candidates have shamelessly declared their assests… amazing how easily they flaunt their new found wealth and are asking for another chance to loot the public.

The Royal Challengers (or should we call them Royally Challenged) cannot seem to buy a victory. The story is they cannot win a game if it was fixed. As Nikhil said during a game.. .”Look dad ‘The Wall’ (Dravid) and ‘The Compound’ (Jaffer) are opening the innings”. Meantime Charu Sharma has been made the scapegoat. More scapegoats will follow.

Say What???

This topic comes as a result of a conversation with junior over the weekend, when he suddenly remembered an incident that happened when he was about 7.

Even babies can pick up negative vibes, but I wonder at what age they start remembering these things. For instance what was the first “insult” or “put down” that you can remember?.. either then or now in hindsight.

My first recollection was when I was probably 5 or 6. We had this girl next door whose cousins came over over occasionally. I still remember running over everytime I saw them playing only to be shooed away. However everytime they saw me taking a walk with my father they’d come over and fuss over me… even at that time, I wondered about their change in attitude (that they treated me differently when my dad was around). Could not express it but I wondered… 

My next recollection (and this is in hindsight) happened in Mysore during one of my summer vacations (Grandfather’s place). Must have been 8/9.

Oft times when we needed a change from our daily routine, breakfast would be “parcelled” from a restaurant behind the house. Very good stuff. I had a thing for chutney (still do), in that I wanted lots and lots of it. So everytime breakfast came, I’d keep asking for more chutney. This probably pissed one of my aunts off so this is what she does one time.

She has extra chutney packed, and then makes it into this extremely large lump and plonks it on my plate and says something to the effect like “Here.. eat till you go burst”… me being me… I ate all the chutney (shameless phellow I am). Later when I got back home, I told my mom about that “wonderful” breakfast. She was livid. I could not understand why…

Suddenly after a few years..I realized… “HEYYYYYYY !!!!”.

Here they come

Well. . . Well. . Hadn’t seen any of my area’s ‘Netas’ till now. These days I see them or their reps everyday. The reason. . . Elections are near.

They come in the afternoon.. disturb my weekend siesta. “Vote for progess” they say. “Our candidate will yensure that you will see laaat of pragress”…the candidate himself (if hes around) is standing around like a blushing bride.

Narrating his experience, my friend told me that one of the candidates’ actually expected to be invited indoors. One of his sidekicks asked him “Yen saar.. sahebraNNa mane valoge invite madolva?” (”What sir arent you going to invite the sahib in”). To which his answer was “Illa” (”No”).

Unfortunately I havent seen the Rs. 2 rice yet. Nor have I been offered the television.

Promises Promises !!!!

Days Gone By - Part Deux

The Pinball arcade turned from a curiosity to an addiction.

Saturday money would be gone in half an hour. So much so that in addition to the pocket money, I’d hit mom up for money so I could go play the machines.

All along my dad who suspected this would keep warning me… “Dont go to that place.. its a gambling den. If I ever catch you there.. you dont want to know what I’ll do to you”…

Things got to a head one day… it was Gowri/Ganesha festival. We lived in Jayanagar and as tradition vaunts, mom would invite ladies from the neighbourhood to come home for “Arishina/Kumkuma and Aarathi. Similarly mom would reciprocate by visiting the houses in the neighbourhood (there were quite a lot of houses). Part of the tradition when you visit someones house is to give you an offering of coconut or fruit and some money (dakshina). In those days it was 5-10 paisa.

I’d wait for mom to come back.. and then pocket the money…once I had enough, I’d slip out to the arcade and play. Come back home… collect some more money and go back…

Unknown to me, people at home became suspicious. Where was the money going? Dad told them “I know exactly where the bugger is”

I was really into the game. Already had several bonus points (which meant extra games for free). A large crowd was watching me. I was doing well… there was a lot of pushing and I kept telling the guys not to. After one particularly “bad push” I snarled at the person and looked up briefly… IT WAS DAD !!!

“Nadiyo Manege” (lets go home) was all he said. Somehow looking at him I did not think “Can I finish my game” would have gone too well with him.

We walked the short distance from the arcade to our house. Dad was livid. So livid that he could not finish a sentence. “You bloody…” he kept saying, but could not go further. At the same time, hes trying to land a slap on my backside.. being more agile, I manage to evade every attempt to strike my body… so all that he got was air… swooosh…

So heres the situation when we got home 5 minutes later. Dad had still not said any other thing other than “You Bloody…”. He was getting frustrated and tired of landing “air punches” and was looking forward to getting me into the confines of a the house so that he could land at least a blow…

Others were waiting for me as well… Mom.. who gave me “The Look”.. we had a cook at that time (Horrible lady. Will write about here later) who was probably looking forward to me getting shot.

So dad’s huffing and puffing… he’s finally able to land a really weak blow on my backside… so weak that I laughed… that made him even madder… mom desparately looking for a newspaper so she could hit me with it… the cook jumping up and down in glee (”I told you he took the money.. I told you…”). For a second I considered climbing on to the atta (the attic)…decided against it given my desire for a long life.

Dad finally cornered me.. instead of whacking me (he was not confident of connecting), he looked me square in the eye, “NO MORE POCKET MONEY FOR YOU… YOU THIEF!!!!” With this anti-climactic statement he walked out of the room (it was his room)… came back in and said “GET OUT OF MY ROOM !!!!”

Days gone by - Part 1

Somehow summer always sets me thinking back.

In 1975, the Jayanagar Shopping complex opened. Us kids were pissed because we were kicked out of our playground and forced to move to Madhavan Park a short distance away. But the elder folk were pleased. There were plenty of “kattes” (seating places) for the retired folk to sit down and gawk at different things.

Shops in the complex were (and till today still are) quite boring. So much so that the Janatha Bazaar and the vegetable market were the most interesting places. There was Poonam Theater which was one of the few Air Conditioned (meaning good cross breeze) places.

Other than that, the stores at the complex were a motely collection of Tyre Shops, Stationery Stores, and Stores that sold fake jewelery (called “Fancy Stores” here)…generally boring stuff. But for the honorable residents of Jayanagar it was a place to gather, meet friends. People would just walk round and round the complex.

Then came the pinball machines…Sometime in ‘76 a guy decided to put up about 5 pinball machines in a small store…by far the most exciting place in the complex after the RTO office

Games here cost between 25 and 50 Paise… the guy would be patrolling this place and anyone found standing around without spending money would be asked to leave…

It was a great hit with the kids (and the college guys at that time). However the grownups (including my parents) were convinced that this was a gambling den.

It was around this time that my Dad started giving me pocket money. One to teach me fiscal responsibility and two to stop me from asking him for money all the time. The amount was fixed at a princely Rs. 5 per week. Payable on Saturday after school (which incidentally got over at 11 am). The intent was to use this money, open a bank account and slowly accumulate millions.

But there was the pinball machine place

To Be Continued….

Movies and Me

Was tagged by Xylene on Movie Quirks. Didnt realize I had so many…

Here goes:

1. Dont like going to movies mainly because of the crowds.. I hate jostling with strangers…

2. I hate it when people saunter into the hall after the movie starts AND THEN stand in the middle trying to find their seats.. AND THEN have an argument about who gets which seat…

3. I want MY OWN pop corn. No sharing. Even with junior.

4. I eat pop corn by the fistfull

5. I don’t like movies that make me think and/or analyze.. give me slapstick anytime…3 Stooges, Marx Brothers
 

6. I always analyze any stranger who comes and sits next to me.Corrolary… do not like sitting next to strangers… prefer middle seat… link back to point #1

7. Nowadays I think that the people behind me are staring at my growing bald patch…

8. I go to the movies mainly to eat…a point that my wife does not agree with… (fortunately son does).

9. Mobile Phones @##@$$@!%

 

First time pictures

Nikhil is now the proud owner of an Olympus Digital Camera. In a moment of rare weakness I agreed to publish his first pictures on this blog. Theres no theme… just pictures.

Modern Tiffin Room is one of the oldest restaurants in the Gandhi Bazaar area. Well known for its Onion Dosa. (notice how all our “wanderings” start with food?)

 

The Fruit and Avarekayi Market on Kanakapura Road (very colorful in summer)

Finally whats a drive without a nice procession (the Bramhotsava of the Devagiri Venkateshwara Temple in Bsk 2nd Stage)

 

 

 

 

Sony Set Max Still Sucks

I had bleated about this one before (Can someone tell SET Max that their timing sucks)

SET Max are the official channel of the IPL…. AND THEY STILL SUCK at cricket broadcasting.

Looks like they want to milk ad revenues so much so that they still cut off the commentators mid way.Looks like the “Einstien” in charge has told his guys that the IPL has 5 ball overs. So many times we don’t see the last ball.

Plus I think SET Max has hired ex-Doordarshan camera folk. The camera swings to the boundary even when the batsman has played a defensive shot.

Last time I had ranted about the dancing tiger who came and did a jig everytime there was a boundary. This times theres an Ad from Vodafone that appears as a ticker and some loud Bhangra music…RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF PLAY… I can understand the ticker (need to milk airtime revenue)…. BUT WHY MUSIC ????? !!!!!

Learn from ESPN/Star Sports  $%^&**$###

 UPDATE: Someone else has similar views on the advertising.